Monday, March 07, 2011

Not so strong -

Yeah - thanks for all the emails or comments.  I'm glad my posts are inspirational - it helps to know that.  but really all - I'm not the strong - but as Craig has been trying to teach more for almost 13 years  - Fake it till you make it!  I have no choice but to fake it at this time.

Our agency did send the link to the Voa posting or article today - they say there are lot of rumors out there and won't really be able to update us until they have the facts.  I really respect that and I know they said they were trying to get the truth a while ago.  so I have to believe that.  I just continue to pray that they don't shut this program down.  Not sure what we'd do then.

anyhow - to all the other families out there - we can just support each other - I know I'm getting that - lets just hope we all make it.

so I'll continue to fake  being a happy mommy for Nate tonight and read a bedtime story and go up stairs to our room and either fall asleep to HGTV or go cry like I really want.  doesn't really help I'm alrady down this week anyhow - turning a year older doesn't make me happier - just realize I still don't have my dream - 2 kids and that white picket fence!  I remember that was a topic Craig brought up when we first started talking - what I wanted out of life and by when - its not for a lack of trying  - all those fertility drugs were another route we tried.

so good night all - I"ll go pray

OH - a lot of peple are taking Wednesday to fast and pray for everything inEthiopia - please do that if you can!

gail

2 comments:

SarahB said...

I can honestly say that over the last 14 months, the last week has been the hardest for me. I understand what you are going through. It is so difficult to stay positive with the thoughts on all the rumors in our head. I know that all we can do is pray that MOWA sees how this will not help anyone.

Sarah

Gail Backus said...

Thanks Sarah - I know YOU know this as much as many others - hang in there! You will get a referral soon!
GAil