birthday's - gotta love 'em and hate 'em

Yep - happy birthday to me (and my sister in law and mother in law (she's in heaven now) - so I'm trying to be happy.  Its hard - my mom always made a big deal out of it- with the little things.  the scavenger hunt for a few presents in the morning, family dinner - whatever we wanted (typically for me banquet fried chicken and mashed potatoes - yummy) - anyhow - if you ever want to see the sad story go back in blog history to 2004- starts then!  I miss her SO MUCH - and my dearest husband misses his mom today - so it sucks.

All to have the unknown of our future child. I finally met a facebook friend today - Rachel and her family she's been through this with Guatemala - so that was nice.  As she put it I'm probably numb - yep that's it.

so to top it all off our van that was in the shop yesterday $$$ - hit a nice pot hole - not hard to do in Detroit suburbs - I hit the same one earlier in the day - but one flat and possibly two bent rims- great!  more $$$ - ha like we have it - gotta love fate or life - whatever you want to call it - it sucks sometimes.  And guess what - they are brand new tires too!  - just loving the joke there -

so hopefully tomorrow brings us much needed good luck - we have our small group an that's good - and just  a meeting that NEEDS to turn positive.

so here I am  alone typing this missing family - my dad's moved away and my brother had stuff going on I just wish My family was one larger - one more little one  I thought I'd have that wish next year - but now I have to wonder.  I"ll be a new mom at 42 - Lord help me.

ok - yeah depressing but I think it is this way in adoption with holidays- always hoping the next one you have your child - I just don't know if that will be the case - but I did get some good books - can't wait to start reading them.

Have a good night all - thanks for reading my thoughts - and remember - turn those clocks a head.
Gail