THE Call - yes THE CALL

Ok - I just can't contain myself any longer!  THE CALL came at about 4:30 pm on Thursday - June 23, 2011.  I didn't have my personal phone with me and missed a call earlier - oops.  Just busy at work preparing for a big audit next week.  anyhow I was in shock and just really out of it - taking as many notes from the conversation with Sally - our wonderful AAI Ethiopian Team Leader (not sure what to call her - but she's special).  She told me about a beautiful little boy named Karesso he's 10 months old and very healthy!  I also was texting Craig in all this time - and awaiting the emails with the details - but mostly those pictures.

Well that did it - me not fall in love instantly after seeing those chubby little cheeks and those eyes - wow those eyes!  Just perfect.  So we thought about it on Thursday - debating on doing the international adoption doctor review (decided they'd tell us what we read already - so opted not to) - tried talking to Nate's pediatrician - and didn't get a call back.  So this morning - the three of us had a very quick family meeting - YES - Karesso will be ours.

The call came at one of the most needed weeks.  This past week was the 7th anniversary of my mom's passing.  So Its typically a very painful week.  Lots of sad memories mixed in with the beautiful ones.  My coworker Nancy told me that she felt my mom was working very close to God this week in bringing us this news on THAT day - helping us to let go of the pain and focus on the good in life and her life in happiness.  And I have to agree -

Yesterday I was driving to my dad's to pick up Nate after him being there for a week.  I was listening to Sirus XM - the Message station and just became so overwhelmed with the joy and timing of it all - God sure does have a plan - the timing of it all - was amazing.

On top of it all - on Friday my brother proposed to his beautiful girlfriend - so we're also adding another person to our family!  That on top of our referral - has topped this week as so special - we have so many happy things.  Mom helped to give me a baby and brought my brother his true love together this week!  Thanks mom - we miss you tons - but again realize you are still watching over us and helping to take care of us from heaven!

So unfortunately we can not post pictures of Karesso right now.  We're still discussing names - we probably going to give him a new first name and keep Karesso as his middle name.  Nate wants all sorts of Star Wars names - trying to keep away from Anikin at the moment - or Skywalker.  Those are just a few of his ideas.  He also l likes Alex and Craig likes Kristopher/Christopher - but our soon to be nephew is going to be named that - so we'll see.

Lots to think about -a LOT of challenges - not sure how we will make it all work - guess we'll be playing the lucky Lotto or something and just pray for another miracle to pull it all together - but we just keep saying god will help us make it work.

we were expecting 2 totally different calls last week - maybe one of those will come through and make it a HOME RUN!  as they say - sometimes things come in 3's!

thanks for letting me share the good news from the Backus / Wilcox family on this Sunday morning - I just couldn't wait any longer.

For those of you waiting - hang in there - your time IS coming!  I believe that.  I still pray we get to travel at the same time as my new friends down in Memphis - I believe God brought us together for a reason in this process - we will make.  I never in my wildest dreams thought this referral would come this past week or this soon - especially after all the changes in March - but it looks like positive things are happening over there in ET - and we're blessed to have seen our little boy - and now need to really baby proof the house again!

Love you all
Gail

confirmation from AAI - leads to this emotional post

Update from AAI - sounds like good news and confirmed MOWA letters - MOWA = MOWYCA  (new name)

Positive thinking and positive thoughts - just have to hang on to any little tidbit today - its an emotional day for me - 7 years ago on Monday - my mom was pronounced basically brain dead and we had to decide to take her off the machines or not.  we waited for her sisters to come say good bye -but ultimately we did the other stuff the next day - Tuesday.  granted the "dates' aren't the same - but the day's are.  I can vividly remember those moments - you can go back and read it all - we started this blog originally to keep family and friends informed of her fight with Leukemia!  - she ultimately lost that battle - as one doctor told us - her genetics were just too strong - and they wouldn't let the chemo in to fight and help cure her.  still it sucks!  I remember starting to have contractions that day and as gross as it is - lost my plug that week - Nate luckily held out for 17 days - he was still about 2 weeks early  - but at least not a month early!   I have to remind myself that mom held him first - in heaven before he was born.  she hand picked him just for us - she realized we needed a beautiful little boy - Nate was best for me and my "boys" as I called them for many years - Craig, nate, dad and Marcus (and even Ron - Craig's dad) - it was me and my boys!  that my little Jane wasn't what was needed -

She's up above watching out - but man - I miss her today and want to talk to her - I want to ask for her advice.  I NEED her support - support on this adoption that NO ONE else is really able to give.  Their understanding, their love NO MATTER WHAT - her trust that we know we are making the best choice for OUR family - Only a mom can sometimes give all that - I have my friends - and for 2 of you - sorry for the emails a few minutes ago - but I just am having a rough one -

so anyhow - tears wiped away - there is good news from AAI  - I'm very thankful they are the agency we picked - they are very helpful in keeping us updated - they've confirmed the additional letter that are being processed.  I must focus on that today - and just taking a nap!  Focus on what we have right now - a beautiful little boy that's about to turn 7 in about 18 days I guess officially by date!  Plan that party - and love my awesome husband and await good news that I just know is coming in the next few weeks - and await that phone call from Sally and her team and the ultimate email - hopefully that comes in the next few months!  but good news is coming - a little birdy told me - so I can't say anything yet - but I KNOW we'll have some good news- and then a referral hopefully soon after!>

sorry for the extra emotions - feel free to read the history here - you will find out about 3 beautiful parents that we lost and my grandma too -
Gail

AAI Email -
Dear Families~

We are happy to report we received word that MOWYCA (Ministry of Woman's Youth and Children's Affairs) decided to increase the number of new cases they will approve to ten per day. (as opposed to the five that they were doing) They also stated that they plan to increase this number to 15 per day, over the next few months. It is our understanding that this is in addition to the backlog cases they continue to work on. 

Other pieces of information that we have been told: 

-The courts are opposed to a dramatic decrease in cases approved and recently demanded that MOWYCA review more than five cases per day. 

-The courts are scheduling approximately 20 hearings per day.

-MOWYCA plans to approve 4 cases per agency, per month. This would be okay for some of the smaller agencies but would result in a dramatic decrease for some of the larger agencies. (AAI is considered average to small.) There has NOT been an official announcement about this. 

We have been very busy getting families ready for travel. There are eight families scheduled for court between July 5 & July 21 and we are waiting to hear court dates of three additional families right now. We also have one family scheduled for their embassy appointment next week. 

We are excited about this move in the right direction and hope to hear more positive news soon. 

We will keep you posted on any new information we learn,

~Sally, Mary, & Laura

good news on processing in country- updated

NOT a fact I've verified yet - but I did see a posting today that said that MOWA is increasing letters per day by 5 - so from 5  to 10 letters starting in June!  YEAH - this is a 50% increase - however they decreased 90% in March - but any increase we WILL take!

YEAH - gotta love progress.  Hopefully over time they will get back up to more than that - which will be good.

Ok - back to work - on travel and a late night -
Gail

UPDATED - after further review - it appears that after a period of time they will move up to 15 letters/day and continue doing so because their training programs and other procedures and fixes are working!!!!  THIS IS AWESOME- bless the lord.
gail

Moving on up - #8

Wow - I heard one family accepted a referral of a little girl - so that means we're number 8 now!  Yikes.  The #1 family I think wanted a boy AND girl - so we'll see where we are at - not everyone posts that they get referrals - so we'll see.

so hope to see a pic of our little guy soon.

On another note our little guy started camp at a new school today - of course I"m on travel - but I did get to drop him off.  so excited for him - he said he had fun and enjoyed hanging out with our friends - Tracey and Amelia - glad he can get to know Amelia - she's close to his age.

Other than that - please keep us in your prayers there is a LOT going on and I just can't talk about it - but we need prayers for things to just continue to move forward!
Gail

Nesting a little

I guess you could say I've started the adoption nesting more formally - even though we don't have a referral just yet.  Nate's bed was moved into the big brother room last weekend - but not the rest of the furniture.  we inherited a lot of antiques from my mom and grandma's antiques the last few years - but all had been in storage.  well I figured may as well use it now - sell the stuff we don't need on Craig's list - so with the help of my brother (thanks to Marcus) - we moved another dresser - my childhood dresser - this huge thing into our room (attic) this afternoon.  the house is an absolute disaster as I've got 4 dressers - two we moved downstairs and two heavy antiques up - so trying to put stuff out of and into new drawers and get things set up.  THEN I have to move Nate's stuff into his one of these days as well - probably as the week goes on - ha!

we will get that.  but just lots of fond memories of the new dressers in our room - its tight in this sloped ceiling room - but beautiful.  Nate's excited as well.

and then on a side note - Craig had a dream - his1st adoption dream - last night - that we were in Ethiopia in our "whatever" - lodge I'm assuming - and just trying to find his morning coffee and to get a paper - so it was his dream of trying to go outside a compound/building and get all that and them wanting to escort him - no little guy in there - but at least he's dreaming about it.

Now we just have to pray a referral comes soon and we can figure out all the rest of the stuff to make it happen.  and pray that our family really and truly accepts this child as OURS - I have a lot of doubts with some of them - they seem to say the right thing to us - but we'll see.

hang in there everyone - we're all moving up that list.

Gail

blog should be open and availabl

Ok - blog should be open again - please email at gmbackus@hotmail.com if you are having issues
GAil

password - NOT set up

FYI - sorry all I couldn't get it to work so you can STILL read the blog - if I change it - I"ll get people's emails.  I'll probably need to get email addresses - but don't post them here yet - I may just leave it totally public -

have a great night - ha lots of posts this week.
Gail

#9- yes single digits PLUS updates!

OK - yes we are now officially #9 on the wait list!  Its just purely amazing!  We saw the May stat's from our agency AAI today.  They are amazing.  And the funny thing is only ONE family in front of us will take a boy in the same age range - all others want girls or an older boy!  So we could potentially move up that list VERY fast. I'll have to copy the email below.

Anyhow - sorry for the confusion about the password - I couldn't get it to work.  I need to figure out how to invite people - but like having the followers.  So for now - oh well - we're still live and open as usual.  I'm very glad people are liking our posts and following our story.  I know that I love keeping up with people and I feel like I know families already.

So on another note of the Backus life is worrying about Nate's school, summer camp -you name it.  Anyhow we are moving to a new school for summer camp.  Its a HARD choice but needed for our family.  And possibly may need to switch schools in the fall - Nate is NOT really up for any of this as he LOVES his buddies at St. Paul - and honestly so do we - Craig and I really like the parents.  But today I took him when I went to register him for summer camp at another local school/church and he was able to get out of school early and go meet the teachers - 1st and 2nd grade (he'll be in 2nd next year) and even played recess with the 1st graders.  INSTANTLY making friends with 3 boys - granted one we know as its our neighbor buddy!  So that was great.  I"m just very excited.  He's ready to start summer camp at his new location in about 2 weeks.  Of course that first week I'm on travel for work - but luckily we have wonderful friends that are able to help pick him up.  Anyhow I just feel so much more comfortable.  I still pray God leads us to the right path of life in general and know where to place him this fall.

But for the moment - I'm excited to be in single digits for our referral!  I had thought we were around 10 or 11 - but not this low!  Just happy so many familiest found their forever kids.  And pray they get to meet them soon and bring them home even sooner!  I'm so happy baby A found his forever family too!  And just amazed at how God talked to me via my dreams and A's mom IS the mom from my dreams - she looks just like her!  Its just MEANT for him to be with them.  Maybe someone is dreaming of us with our future little guy.  And yes - its about 90% we'll get a little boy as most people want girls and they have so many boys - hence we'll move up faster.  yes - babbling with joy.

Gail

Email copied from an AAI Group -
Dear Families~

I'm happy to report that there was a lot of referral activity during the month of May, therefore, the wait list has changed quite a bit. The numbers are still low in regards to finalized adoptions and children brought home, but, as I said last month, this is a direct result of the slowdown of referrals a few months ago. Here are the numbers:

# of dossiers sent to Ethiopia - 4
# of referrals - 9 
# of adoptions finalized - 1
# of children brought home - 0

Referrals - The 9 children referred were 4 infant boys, 1 infant girl, 2 18 mth old boys, 2 3 yr old boys. We still have partial information on at least six children and expect this number to increase. Most of these children are infants and most are boys...our wait list is getting very "pink". Alemu is well aware of the families waiting for older children and females. 

Current Situation in Ethiopia - I feel like a broken record when I tell you that we do not have any concrete updates regarding MOWYCA's long term plan on how many cases they will be processing each day, but this remains accurate. They are currently processing five new cases per day in addition to clearing the backlog of court cases. We have been told that this will continue at least through September.

Court Hearings and Closure - We do not know the exact dates of the closure coming up but it will probably be from about August 8-September 30. We are really hoping that all the families that have accepted referrals will have their court date prior to this closure. Please understand that just because a court hearing might take place prior to the closure does not mean that the adoption will be finalized prior to the closure. If a family attends court and their testimony is approved, the adoption will be finalized, pending the letter of consent from MOWYCA. This letter might be at court the day of the hearing, but might not be there for several weeks (or even months) after court. We should get a better feel for this in the next few months. Referrals will continue to be given during the court closure, however, a court case will not be able to be opened. Families are also able to travel for their embassy appointment during the court closure. 

Summer Hours - Beginning next week Monday, June 6, our office will be open from 8-5, Monday-Thursday and 8-12 on Friday. These hours will continue until after Labor Day. 

 

Okay, now for the part you really want to see.....

Waiting Families~
2, male & female, 0-5yrs
1, female, 0-12mths
1, female, 0-12mths
1 or 2, female, 0-2yrs
1, female, 2-4yrs
1, female, 0-12mths
1, female, 0-2yrs
1, male, 4-5yrs
1, male or female, 0-3yrs
1, female, 2-4yrs
1, female, 0-2yrs
2, male, 1-4yrs
1 or 2, female, 0-2yrs
2, male or female, 0-24mths
2, male or female, 0-7yrs

Please note that a family may change their preferences in regards to age and gender at any time, therefore, anything on this list could change on any given day.

Please let us know if you have questions on this information or anything else. 

I think summer has finally arrived here in Michigan and it is gorgeous outside! We hope you enjoy the change of seasons,

~Sally, Mary, & Laura

passwords

Ok - can't get it set up to invite the followers - so we'll work on it - but shouldn't be able to view if you search for us - so that's good.

going password protected

All - for the time being we're gonna need to protect this blog and make it password protected -
the password will be Backus and log in Backus - if it changes I'll let you know.

thanks for understanding -
Gail

Baby A

Oh blessed news - baby A we had to turn down a few weeks ago -he's been found a home!  and with another sibling from ET as well!  I'm pretty sure its him the family described this beautiful picture even the sheets!  I'm so happy for him - I want to see this family and see what they look like.  I want to KNOW this is the woman from my dreams!  I KNOW it is - he's a lucky little boy to have this mom!

Update on referrals

Well it appears more referrals are coming out - two families accepted referrals for two kids each this week!  So very exciting.  I'm so happy for them.  Just a few weeks ago a lot of little girls were referred as well.  People are still getting court dates and traveling - its very exciting.  One family said at the beginning of May they were #10 on the list - amazing.  I don't think it was numerical - its just where they fall and the kids fall on either lists - but if we were #15 earlier this month - or even moving up - that's great news!  We may be under #10 soon - Not bad for being #20 when we started?  Soon - I'll see what happens for stats early in June!

so please continue to pray for all the kids in ET - they need prayers and care.  A lot of kids with special needs require some good homes.   I know we're not the home for them but I wish we could be - I feel bad, but know these kids need more care and love and mostly time!  but maybe someday - our lives are changing and we'll get there.

this is a long process so we'll all make it through

Love
Gail

Moving on up the list

Well we are still moving on up the waiting list.  I"m not exactly sure where we're at now - but we started out at 20 and I think we're about 14 or so now.  There have been some referrals lately so that's always good to hear.

Anyhow - Mother's day was last Sunday - so of course it was a sad day - I had a wonderful day - don't get me wrong - an awesome day - but just sad knowing our little one isn't even known yet.  And so many of us are all just waiting.  And then even if we have a referral - we're not going to see them for a very long time.

But overall  life is going well - some positive news on the personal side of life that hopefully we can share soon - non-adoption related - but its alright.

This past week would have been my mom's 65th birthday - and I miss her horrible.  I wish she were here to share all of this with us.  yes I know she's in heaven but its still hard.  I"m thankful for my new adoption friends out there for helping to keep me grounded.

So with all that said just still waiting I know our little one will be known soon enough.

Hope everyone is hanging in there and got through Mother's day.
Gail

a sad day - saying no to a referral

well I think I posted a week or so ago about a little boy that was emailed to our agency - anyhow that referral came up for Craig and I!  Anyhow - I hate to report that after MUCH prayer and conversation, and research talking to some doctors and other people - we have decided this little boy isn't meant for our family.  as much as I tried all weekend to picture this beautiful little guy in my arms, in our family -I couldn't.  but in my dreams I saw him with his mom - it wasn't me!  I can picture this woman very clearly - and I bless her for taking little "A" - he's beautiful and looks so sweet - he deserves her as his forever mother!  I just hope she finds him soon!

anyhow - it was NOT an easy choice - but there were things involved that we just needed to say no and think about Nate and the future of both kids - way into their adult lives.

after going through all this - its difficult to say no to a child!  I never thought this was going to be easy - but never this hard - I knew I'd fall for any child by looking at their picture.

anyhow I appreciate the agency for allowing us to consider "A" and to see his beautiful face - I know they will find him HIS family!  and they will all be happy.

we continue to wait for our referral -we're still probably #15 or 16 on the waiting list - and that's fine.

thanks for the prayers.
gail

New book about adoptions

go to this site - you can win a book and other prizes. this family adopted two beautiful kids from ET  but this could help others as well.  Its more about their story than anythng else.