So I have been thinking about some responses we have gotten lately and then just read a post on Facebook from a new friend. Anyhow - she posted some real insight about her most recent adoption attempt - a domestic adoption where the mom changed her mind in the end. I can't even begin to know or express their broken hearts. But what I take from it - and what she did share is that everyone has an opinion - and honestly some things are just NO ONE's Business - adoption is an individual choice for both parties. It has to be one of the most difficult choices a birth parent can make - to GIVE YOUR child away. However, there are circumstances and situations no one will know or understand. And they want their child to have the best! So they do what it takes. And then there are people like us - adoptive (or soon to be) parents. We just want to grow our families.
In our case - a "friend" that hasn't seen us in over 9 years read my recent Christmas letter and had to actually write me a letter that they were disappointed we did not adopt domestically. Well without even asking or hearing our story - which honestly is OUR story and no one else - this person was pretty rude. I know they didn't mean to be, but they have no idea.
Families and people make choices that are best for them - they choose to have 10 kids, no kids, do fertility treatments, adopt, you name it - and its a choice that works for their family. We have had questions why international, and WHY Ethiopia! Well honestly - we looked into domestic and it didn't work out for us - for way too many reasons to list. The easiest is "we were too old - 40 and 41 years old" - but really many more to list. And then just WHY - oh WHY ET? All I can say - God drew me there. I saw those faces and I fell in love. It doesn't matter what we decide -but I believe in fate and God's plan for us all - as difficult as that may be, I believe he put road blocks in our way and pushed us to the path we are on. And these road blocks with the paper work - well that was just because our child isn't ready for us yet. Maybe they will be young and haven't been born yet. Or their family situation isn't ready for them to be an orphan just yet - Everything happens for the reason that God already has had it planned out - as heart breaking as it may be - he has it all chosen for us.
So as my heart breaks for my FB friend and her families loss - I will pray tonight that God gives them peace and helps them find the child that is meant to be theirs. And for the birth mom who will struggle with her choices, but will still be a good mom to this baby that was born recently.