Wait times

So the agency says wait times are typically 4-6 months to a referral. Unfortunately, referrals have been REALLY slow to come the last few months.  So it could be longer.  But with us open to either gender (means open to a boy cuz a lot of people want girls) and we don't need a YOUNG child - it may happen faster.  We just can't count on any of these estimates and its totally out of their control.  Its all up to the ET government agency as to when the hand referrals to each agency over there.  And then there is a group of people a head of us here (still scared to know that number).

So we'll see.  I am still gonna go with 8-12 months for a referral - that way I won't be too disappointed.

Thanks for all the well wishes.
Gail

Waiting List - FINALLY

So its official - we are ON THE WAITING LIST!  Our Dossier is in the mail to ET as of today!  YEAH - we are so excited.

Now the real waiting begins.  Typically the wait for a boy is 8-10 months from today for a referral, a girl is 12-18 months.  We have asked for either gender - leaving something up to God - even though I still dream of little boys, I can still imagine a little girl as I see the cute girl stuff in the stores.  So I don't care.

Anyhow - those times are NOT promised - it all just depends on the system.  We're still hoping for under 2 - but up to 3 years old.  I"m sure as kids come available, we may have more chances to narrow those ages down.

Just exciting we are FINALLY on a waiting list.  I'm afraid to ask how many people are on the list before us - I"ll wait a while - I want to savor this moment.  Craig and I are very excited!

Anyhow - once we accept a referral - its typically 4-6 months to bring a child home - so probably sometime in 2012 we'll bring our child home.  Yeah.
Thanks for the posts everyone.
Love
Gail

Passed Ethiopian Embassy

Looks like our paperwork is DONE in DC - in under a week - yeah - The Assistant Stork ROCKS!  They are amazingly fast and just so kind and nice - can't say enough good about how nice Laura is.

Anyhow - per Fed  Ex the return package is in the mail back to the AAI HQ over near Grand Rapids, MI - so next step- they send it all to ET and we are officially on a waiting list.

Pray for this next step - we have to pull things together before that can happen - just pray things work out the way God has intended.

Also pray for healing for my nephew Cody -he was in a snowmobile accident earlier this week and still in the hospital for observations.  They are thinking he may have a closed head injury - that is just very scary alone.  but he's a strong young boy  -16 years old and we know he'll be fine and back out there riding and hunting again soon!  also prayers for his dad Dennis - he was in the accident - but wasn't hurt too bad - whip lash
Love
Gail

at the Embassy of Ethiopia

Wow - things seem to finally be moving forward!  I can't believe it - Laura from The Assistant Stork sent me an email to let me know the roads were fine and they took our Dossier to the US Dept of State and it was all sealed this morning.  Then they delivered it to the Embassy of Ethiopia and left it all there for them!  So hopefully they can pick it up tomorrow, and it will be in the mail to AAI by Friday - or early next week.  OH MY GOSH - just amazing.

A lot to freak out about - wish we could use that tax credit THIS YEAR - but I know that's not possible even though we're probably half way through the fees - we'll get there.  Please continue to pray - I keep reading other blogs and that miracles do happen.  Things just work out if they are meant to be and I have to believe God won't let us down on this - we worked so hard to get to this point.  We've lost so much in the last 7 years I can't believe he'd take this away from us now - so we'll continue to pray for our child - or the boy from my dreams - little Oliverta or Oliverte?

And if you really want some tears and read some great stories - you can look at the archives of this blog  - it was started in 2004 when we realized my mom was fighting leukemia, through to Nate's birth and the illnesses and losses of my in laws and my grandma - you can see some pictures of beautiful people of our lives - that have shaped our love and faith in God.  As hard as those times were, they built our faith and strength to what it is today - more than I ever imagined it would back in 2004.

God Bless
Gail

US Dept of State

Saw an email from The Assistant Stork courier - they are delivering our dossier TODAY to the US DOS and then dropping it off at the Embassy of ET - yippee!  Finally getting there -

Better start looking at grants and continue our prayers to make it all work out - we'll need a miracle- but soon we can get on that waiting list!  CAN'T wait

Check out the Assistant Stork Website at www.asststork.com - they are awesome so far.
Gail

Dossier IN DC Area

Yes - the dossier has arrived at The Assistant Stork offices!  Yeah - its there - or it was delivered.  So now we have to hope the weather holds out and they can get it to the US Dept of State this week.  And then probably to the Embassy of ET next week -then back to AAI - then its time to try and make the rest work out - yikes.  WE'll figure it out one way or another - but so close to being on a waiting list!  So close.

can't wait

Dossier IN THE MAIL

Finally - our I was able to get it ALL done today - the Dossier is IN THE MAIL!  The Assistant Stork is helping us out.  They will hand deliver everything one day next week to the US Dept of State for their authentication of our documents.  And then they will hand deliver it over to the Ethiopian Embassy!  Then hand pick it up - and mail it all back to our agency - then we have to pay the fees and they will mail it all to country.  THEN we go on the waiting list - yeah!  Just under 6 months to get all this done - seems like a forever process.  But it with the other government stuff - still would have only been a few weeks earlier - God wanted us to wait to get it all in.

Just think - ALMOST on the waiting list - yeah

Another side note - please pray for Sheri (my coworker) - she lost her 23 year old son David this week.  I can't imagine - how horrible.

Gail

Helping each other out - check out this famlies profile

Well Yes - posting lots this week.
Anyhow I just feel that we are all out there helping each other out - I'm friends now with so many total strangers that have given me advise or Craig advise in this process - its just amazing.  And we're all there for one common bond - growing families.

Anyhow our friends are trying to adopt domestically - take a look at their profile on www.americanadoptions.com - share this with anyone you know that may be a birth mother that is looking for a kind family for her child or just share.  The best stories I've heard about are how families find each other by word of mouth.  It works.

And plus - a tidbit on my day - Great Seal of MI - completed - a few more tasks and off to the UPS store to mail the package to the couriers!  Thank you Assistant Stork!
Gail

Adoption - YOUR choice

So I have been thinking about some responses we have gotten lately and then just read a post on Facebook from a new friend.  Anyhow - she posted some real insight about her most recent adoption attempt - a domestic adoption where the mom changed her mind in the end.  I can't even begin to know or express their broken hearts. But what I take from it - and what she did share is that everyone has an opinion - and honestly some things are just NO ONE's Business - adoption is an individual choice for both parties.  It has to be one of the most difficult choices a birth parent can make - to GIVE YOUR child away.  However, there are circumstances and situations no one will know or understand. And they want their child to have the best!  So they do what it takes. And then there are people like us - adoptive (or soon to be) parents. We just want to grow our families.

In our case - a "friend" that hasn't seen us in over 9 years read my recent Christmas letter and had to actually write me a letter that they were disappointed we did not adopt domestically.  Well without even asking or hearing our story - which honestly is OUR story and no one else - this person was pretty rude.  I know they didn't mean to be, but they have no idea.

Families and people make choices that are best for them - they choose to have 10 kids, no kids, do fertility treatments, adopt, you name it - and its a choice that works for their family.  We have had questions why international, and WHY Ethiopia! Well honestly - we looked into domestic and it didn't work out for us - for way too many reasons to list. The easiest is "we were too old - 40 and 41 years old" - but really many more to list.  And then just WHY - oh WHY ET?  All I can say - God drew me there.  I saw those faces and I fell in love.  It doesn't matter what we decide -but I believe in fate and God's plan for us all - as difficult as that may be, I believe he put road blocks in our way and pushed us to the path we are on. And these road blocks with the paper work - well that was just because our child isn't ready for us yet.  Maybe they will be young and haven't been born yet.  Or their family situation isn't ready for them to be an orphan just yet - Everything happens for the reason that God already has had it planned out - as heart breaking as it may be - he has it all chosen for us.

So as my heart breaks for my FB friend and her families loss - I will pray tonight that God gives them peace and helps them find the child that is meant to be theirs. And for the birth mom who will struggle with her choices, but will still be a good mom to this baby that was born recently.

Dr Letter - FINALLY

Ok - I FINALLY received my doctors letter - after starting this process in September.  They told me over and over it had been mailed - but I do not think it was. it was dated and notarized yesterday.  I'll take it - whatever.

So that means tomorrow I'll go over everything one last time, go to the great seal and make sure I have all my "ducks" in a row to send everything off to the Assistant Stork to take it all to DC!  It should be good.  VERY exciting.

Now time to try and relax - just LOTS going on in life - a big audit at work tomorrow - can't wait till its over. WILL be nice.

Gail

Info from agency

Below is an email  from AAI - about a 6 hour teleconference they had this week.  from other things I've seen the ET government is also making some changes.  I personally think they will make things easier in the long run - but they are trying to work with everyone to make sure ethical adoptions are happening - that's key. So here is the latest - I'll try posting things we get from AAI as I trust that first - all other info are emails I get in groups and I"m sure they are valid - but I want to hear it from our agency.
Gail


Dear Families~
There was a 6 hour conference that took place yesterday organized by the Department of State. There were adoption agencies,government agencies, and other organizations that were invited to call in to participate.

The title of the conference was "Ethiopia Adoption: Solutions into Action" and the purpose was to discuss the current status of adoptions in Ethiopia and come up with solutions as to how to move forward to ethically and transparently better protect children, birth families, and adoptive parents.

The presenters in the morning primarily talked about statistics and issues with the current process of adoption. The way in which some children come into care, unethical practices in some cases, and lack of care provided to children in some of the orphanages. Because of these issues, along with others, some orphanages are being investigated at this time, by the Ethiopian Government and the U.S. Embassy. It should be noted that out of approx. 200 orphanages in Ethiopia, only 77 are licensed for adoption, so many of the orphanages that are being investigated are not currently involved with adoption. Most of this is not new information and was posted on the Department of State's website on December 6, 2010. (http://adoption.state.gov/news/ethiopia.html)

On a side note, regarding referrals: This perhaps explains why agencies across the nation, including us, have experienced a significant slow down of referrals over the last few months. The Ethiopian Government plays a large role in the referral process. It is not until the government gives the orphanage the legal authority to refer children to agencies that a referral can take place. If the government is somewhat skeptical about some orphanages in general right now, it would make sense that they wouldn't be too quick to give any orphanage this authority. 

The focus in the afternoon was more about trying to come up with solutions. One thing that was mentioned was the possibility of having the embassy give pre-approval for a case prior to the case even going to court. This would make for a longer process in between referral and travel, but it would reduce the chances of issues at the end of the process. Other things talked about were to have ongoing trainings with the local government, and the judiciary branch, in addition to the training already provided foradoption agency staff in Ethiopia.

Even though we did not feel like we walked away with a lot of new information, one thing that was apparent is that everyone appears to be committed to finding solutions to these problems. Determining the best solutions will be an ongoing discussion.

Please be assured that it has always been and will continue to be top priority to Adoption Associates to complete adoption cases with integrity and transparency. 

Sally, Mary, & Laura

Possibly tomorrow???

So called the Dr's office AGAIN today and since last week it worked leaving a message on the nurses line - I did that again.  The nurse today was NOT Happy to be doing the "receptionist" work - well they never helped me.  anyhow they told me the letter was mailed on 1/7/11 - I'm like I never got it.  PLUS last week I was told there was a note that day NOT to send it out - it needed some approvals.  She's like I'll fax it to you then - I said I need a notarized signature - and i know the Dr wasn't in today.  So I'm not sure if it was finished a few weeks ago and they forgot - but she called this afternoon and its ready.  If it wasn't Nate's early day at school (meaning LONG day) - I would have picked it up tonight.  But instead I will go tomorrow at lunch and get it.

Wish me luck - it appears the Great Seal has a walk in office in Livonia - so I'm hoping the agency will accept what I have and I can get everything else sealed on Friday.  Calling the state was a message loop nightmare that told me to talk to the agency anyhow - I know they'll help - at least we have an agency I have confidence in.

So that is the update -
Between that and the AT&T nightmare - we'll see.
happy Tuesday - its my short week but I have my big audit at work - just want Thursday night to be here!
Gail

Maybe next week????/

I've been calling my Dr's office every week for at least a month now.  Even wrote and faxed a letter that she could use for the paper work.  I had been leaving messages through the one place and decided today to leave a message for a nurse to call me back.  She said there was a lot of "traffic" on the topic in my file.  I guess the letter was done a few weeks ago!  But they held of mailing it?  Who knows - it could be in the mailbox at home as I type this from the store?

I told the nurse I just NEED this ONE document to start the next step and can't go farther without it.  She said she'll follow up on Monday as well.

Fingers crossed it came today or comes tomorrow.

It is finally the weekend - and I know I'm READY for that - maybe start some Crockpot recipes to store and save in the freezer?   Any good recipes send my way.
Gail

US State Department letter

Wow - received a letter in the mail from the US State Department today - says the National Visa Center received our approval fro our "advanced processing of orphan petition" - it informed us that it will be sent to the US Embassy in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia!  Wow - that's awesome.

IF only we could have gotten my doctors letter - things could get moving forward.  SO CLOSE - just so close. Decided (with the wonderful help of the AAI Ethiopian Team - thanks Sally) - to write the letter for my DR and she can just print it off on letter head, sign in front of a notary!  So that will be good.

And then maybe just make an appointment and take it to her!  OR DROP IT OFF to her!  So we'll see how it goes - I NEED THIS DONE - UGH - I love my DR- but its so hard!

We will get there -

Also for those that have our house number - we cancelled that service today - its broken anyhow and decided that most people call our cells anyhow. So if you need our cells - contact me privately at gmbackus@hotmail.com or via Facebook and I'll send you the numbers for Craig and I directly.

Keep the prayers and positive thoughts coming.
Gail

Continue to wait

Yep - seems like things are still not changing.  We have all the documents notarized that are in our control.  And still only ONE document left - MY DOCTORS Letter.  I think I may send her the original one back and say -here fix this and this and then just have her finish it!  Or make an appointment to pick it up?  We'll see.  Its just frustrating. But I know we will get there.

I'm excited to start talking to more families in and around SE MI that have or are adopting from ET - one lady is starting a yahoo group and we hope that we can start getting the group together.  It will be great to have a connection for our children.

Also some friends told us Sunday that Groupon had a coupon for the ET Restaurant in Southfield - we couldn't get a coupon but someone else did and has invited us out in the coming months.  That will be really nice.  Its great to see more people wanting to get to know us and looking forward to meeting our child.

Its always interesting how we meat things.

So normal life news -we are slowly moving furniture to get Nate into his new room - one step was to finally set up the office in the basement - we had the computer here for a while - but the desk was set up yesterday - right by the family room - and TV / Wii - so I'm sitting here with Lego RockBand BLARING - and watching Nate play the "drums" so intently - its fun!

Anyhow - exciting.  Its been a rough week (well last week) - lots of disappointing news - but I have to hang onto the belief things happen for a reason and we will move forward!
Thanks for reading and following - we will get through.
Gail