So much going - where to start?

Wow - where do I start?  Just so much in life going on - and pretty much ALL good!  Curt and Nate and all of us are just bonding like crazy.  I have to admit the attachment was my BIGGEST fear - I never thought sleeping would be an issue (and yes IT IS  - not fun).  But the attachment is so amazing.  Seeing Curt and everyone he needs to know and care about - he is starting to bond.  Today we said give brother Nate a hug and he waddled over to give him lots of hugs!  It was so beautiful.  I am just beyond happy and just love my family so much!  I honestly feel complete!  My boys (all 3 - including the big one) are just MY LIFE!  I will never be able to express the love I have for them.

My dad was home for the last few weeks and was able to get time with the boys too.  It was nice because Curt finally started to bond to him.  He wanted Nate near by if it was just the two of them. But after a few days, he'd go right to Papa.  And even though my dad may not have heard it - he can say that too Papa - not sure he knows what it means.

And then one day my dad and Mary kept Nate - so we met up the next day.  It was priceless.  WE walk into Uncle Marcus and Aunt Stacey's house and Nate is like CURT!  and Curt goes waddling over to his brother and they are hugging and attacking/wrestling!  So please - I still ask - observe the boys - you can see the love.

We did get some pictures the last week.  Some with Papa and the boys and others with the 4 of us!  And a few in our Ethiopian shirts!  Not sure how well you can see them all -but it counts!  Can't wait to see them early next week!  yeah.

So another big thing in our lives - helping to get a group going of families in SE Michigan and even northern OH that have or will be adopting Ethiopian kids!  Another woman stated it last year, I sorta took it over and another woman kindly took it from me (thank you Kim).  So she was great to arrange a gathering a few weeks ago.  It was so fun to just meet others, and have the kids play!  One little boy was from Curt's orphanage!  And they were in the same room!  Watching him see this little boy - ok it has been months, and they were so little -but he just wanted to gently touch his face!  he wasn't like that with the other kids.  Yes he was happy and playing,but this one boy  - there was such a connection!  It was priceless!  We're all going to keep meeting up!  Hopefully starting more often.  We even had a few families meet at the zoo concert this week!  yeah!  Lots of fun.

Craig and I are good too!  My work is amazing.  I just love all that I"m doing and what I am able and allowed to do!  It is just so cool!  I'm starting a new project and I feel like I'm getting in on the"ground floor" of something big!  I just am excited!  It sure will be cool.  And Craig - he has a lot going on and doing well!  Watching him with the boys and being protective is so sweet.

We recently went back to NY to his 25th class reunion - it was a lot of fun.  Getting pictures of his home town, seeing and meeting his sisters family (yes both of us had additions since we'd seen each other 3 years ago) - and Nate being with TJ - priceless.

AND we are expecting another baby in our family!  I will be an aunt early next year!  I'm thrilled and so excited!  I just can't wait!  Another baby in the family!  YEAH.

So just lots happening - and watching Curt grow, develop and learning to talk is so fun!  He sure has a handle on walking now - and likes to go UP the stairs - just not sure how to get down.  He wants to walk JUST LIKE US!

I should run - I made a few changes to the blog in the back ground and format.  we'll see if I like it or not.
Enjoy - hugs to you all!
Love
Gail

8 years ago

wow - 8 years ago today I was laying in a hospital bed hooked up to lots of drugs and stuff trying to induce labor - yep this started in the morning and continues till the next day.  Anyhow - my water broke 8 years ago tonight - but Nate still was NOT ready to be born - he waits till 6:23 pm on July 9th!

It was a bitter sweet moment as I cried to have my mom there JUST ONE MORE TIME to see and hold her first grandchild - but she wasn't.  She passed away 17 days earlier - that sucked.  Anyhow - I now believe that she was up in heaven and hand picked Nate - since we never could tell his gender - I believe she hand picked this soul for us - and held him for those days until he was born.  And she had a hand in picking Curt as well!

I can't believe my beautiful boy was born 8 years ago - and we just had another big birthday party yesterday on one of the hottest days of the year!  We had a bounce house, cotton candy and snow cone machine and great friends!  Tomorrow we'll celebrate at his choice of restaurants.  It will be amazing  -

I love my family and life so much - he is a blessing that brought our family together.  So lucky to have these great kids!

Meant to be a Backus

Just a good weekend - we didn't really do much - but it was nice.  The more we hang together, the more I just KNOW Curt was hand picked by the Lord for our family.  I still wonder about little Karesso and what family he made it to - he was/is a beautiful little boy - but Curt truly is meant for our family.

It is the little things in life that make Curt truly our son!  Yes - in little ways he looks like Nate did as a baby - just the little facial features, body structure and how he walks/holds himself.  Someone even said - he looks like a "chocolate Nate" - yep!  He does.  They meant it as a compliment.  And the little things we always said were hereditary - just were built into Curt!  Like the way he moans and groans in his sleep (plus snores) - Craig has done this for ever. Nate started it too - and Curt does it too!  Today at church I swear Curt's ankles were clicking - Craig's do that too!  Just funny.  It goes all the way to the food - they all like spicy foods!  Curt was eating mustard by spoonfuls tonight!  ha.  Then they were all sharing Popsicle!  I just love it.

And I know it isn't just us - I believe all kids adopted were plopped into their families for many reasons - they ARE that family.  We may not have the same blood or genetics - but we have heart that connects us!

I love my family so much - very blessed and lucky to have them.  Watching the boys play today was so fun - normal boy stuff - a little wrestling and teasing and of course horsing around.  It is just fun!  I feel so blessed.

I will update this blog a little with the look - one of these days.

Right now there are a LOT of families meeting their kids in Ethiopia and my best friend Shannon bringing her son home!  They have Gotcha Day tomorrow!  So happy for all these families- They will also find out that these kids are MEANT for their family - hand chosen by God!
Enjoy everyone.
Gail

New Birth Certificate

Well it is official AND Legal!  Curtis Samuel Backus - his new US birth certificate arrived this week!  YEAH!   Now off to try and get the SS# later this week.  Shouldn't be difficult- but another step and more paper work.  Always fun.  And we'll also work on getting him a US passport as well.  I LOVE the Ethiopian one, the picture is just too adorable.

Anyhow - I type this as Curt is napping in his vibrating rocking/bouncy chair, Nate lays on the floor playing his 3DS and I sit on the couch with a sleeping cat.  Love it.  Now if only I can be taking a nap.

Overall life is good.  We had our 3 month visit with the social worker this week and it went well.  She felt Curt was attaching well and saw the protectiveness that Nate projects with his brother.  He's so funny he will NOT talk about his emotions much, but if you just sit back and watch/observe - he's amazing!  He has to be the one to push the stroller and all that.  We are blessed with our boys!

School ends this week and Nate will officially be a 3rd Grader!  He's doing AMAZING after the issues at the end of last year (being told he struggled with reading and way behind in APRIL) - he's reading at a level 3!  WE have had him in tutoring this year and she's amazing.  So happy we found her - all by going to the library and asking for a reference!  Anyhow Nate now likes reading AND asked that he continue to see Miss Suzanne through the summer!  Alright - how can you tell your child NO you can't see the tutor!  Ha - we'll visit the library once/week still.  Unfortunately I no longer get my library hour to myself to read.  Mr. Curt doesn't get that you have to be quiet in the library!  He isn't quiet much as all.  Oh well - we now visit the little cafe there and getting to know The Cookie Lady!  Yummy cookies.

We're going to hopefully figure out summer camp in the next few days as well.  Man - places are just insanely priced this year.  And the hours - really end at  3 o4 pm without any latchkey!  What are working families supposed to do.  Lucky for me my employer is amazing and I can put my hours in earlier in the day and go pick him up!  Curt will continue with Miss Jodi's place.

Alright - I'm hoping to update the look of this blog in the coming weeks - but we know how fast I get things done.  And right now I'm too tired to think about it.

And for those that believe in prayer - there are LOTS of families traveling in the coming days to meet their children or bring them home!  Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers.  I have 3 families I am friends with that I'm very excited for!  i can't wait to meet them all in person.

Thanks for reading - Mr. Curt IS NOW AWAKE!

Strange and RUDE comments

So last night - I heard a comment that I had not expected.  I've had people make comments about Curt's skin color, his hair, he's "not that dark", "wow he's dark", "where'd you get him", "where are his parents", "what happened" - stuff like that.  BUT THEN last night we were at a restaurant (yeah for gift cards) and Craig carried Curt out the door first.  Nate was next and me in the rear.  Some worker was holding the door open and looked at me and asked "is that guy stealing that baby"!  Seriously?  Who knows if he was serious or not - you have NEVER seen, NOR met us in your life and you ask me if my husband STOLE OUR SON!  So I must have just given him the LOOK of WRATH because he just apologized, smiled and said - I'm just kidding!  I looked at him (probably after THE LOOK and my chin was back up where it belonged and said HE IS OUR SON and walked out!  Nate then was like - what did he say?  Did he think we stole Curt?  Yes - so now to explain to the older son what happened?

I was so stunned I just walked away.  Kicking myself later that I should have used this moment as a "learning" moment for others and for my kids!  Just crazy.

Hopefully this late teen/early 20 something idiot of a man learned to keep his comments to himself next time.  I doubt it - but we shall see.

But for all the other people - he IS OUR SON!  Our 2nd child and he is beautiful!  His skin is the color of him. Its the way he was created by God.  His birth family loved him so much, they gave him a life beyond birth and ultimately he ended up in our lives.  He is OUR SON - we love him dearly - And his hair - is adorable.  Yes he has curls, loose curls I'm told, and yeah maybe he can have a hair cut - but have you seen Curt's brother Nate?  He's got long hair - and for now - we love it on both of them. (side bar - my hair cut - I HATE - I look like Pat Bennatar or Janet from 3's Company - I'd be styling if it were 1980 something) - but the boys are perfect.  Just like your own kids or family - you know they are perfect for the way they are - I feel the same

Thanks everyone.
Gail

Mother's day for the motherless

So this year Mother's day is harder than normal.  You may think this very odd that my dream of having a second child just came true 2 months ago today. Don't get me wrong, we are BLESSED - I AM BLESSED!  I have a beautiful and wonderful loving husband and two amazing boys!  I am so complete its not even funny!  My career, my family - its all amazing.

However if you read this blog from the VERY beginning - yes there is a LOT of information - we started this 8 years ago - about this time too!  My mom - well she was sick, our cell phone bill was over $400 as I kept calling my relatives and family friends telling the same story every day - how she's doing?  What her blood counts were, etc.  So in his amazing way - Craig started this for us to communicate with family and friends on her condition, ultimate death and the birth of our first son Nate  - and yes this all took place in under 3 months!Then we used it to share about Nate!

So we took time off - and then you see about Ron - Craig's dad's illness and death (he was very sick for very long) and his mom's fight with cancer!  WE used this to communicate.  Then in 2010 - I started it up and redesigned this for our future child #2!  We all have known now to be Curtis Samuel.

So yes - a lot of emotions, two mom's in heaven, and now a child who was motherless for all but one month that we know!  So yes - I miss my mom!  My beautiful angel in heaven watching over us, taking care of us in ways we do not know or understand yet.  And we have Liz - she's amazing in so many ways as well (and our grandmas) - But now we have a woman somewhere in Ethiopia that gave me a son!  I do not know her name, I do not know what she looks like, I know she was from Dire Dawa, Ethiopia.  She gave birth to this amazing little boy in April 2011 - and now he's living in the US with us - and now called Curtis Samuel!  And he is so loved and so happy.  But what is she thinking tomorrow?  Yes - they do not celebrate mother's day in Ethiopia - but what if they do?

And then ALL these children not only in Ethiopia - but all over the world - MOTHERLESS!  How my heart breaks for them.  Craig and I had our mom's into our 30's - we have over 30years with them - it SUCKS they died so young - both only 58!  Yes -it SUCKS!  But then I hear of kids that are under 15 that  have mom's pass away - how that must really suck!  And again - just the orphans - they never had a mom!  Its so hard to understand.  Everyone will be talking about mom's tomorrow - and yes that is great.  I loved mine dearly and I'm thankful to be a mom!  (oh yeah - I should have a blog about infertility and life trying to just HAVE a child).  But my heart breaks for those like me that don't have a mom.  That never did, or are missing theirs this year.

Please keep that in mind when you wish people happy mother's day tomorrow.  You never know which child lost their mom to cancer in the last year?  Or who was adopted and doesn't know their birth mom?  Or a child that is in foster care, that has an amazing family loving them now - but struggles not knowing where they will end up or if their mom will be in their lives.  I just have been thinking of all these people today!

when you are talking about mom's at church tomorrow - say a prayer for those that did one of the biggest sacrifices in the world - give their child up for adoption.  Say a pray for those children that have no mother, the orphans, foster kids - children who's mom just died.  They need extra prayers to get through the day.

And yes - I challenge you to read our story here - go back to May 2004 in the archive of this blog - you will see how it sucked for my brother, father and I!  And Craig too!  we've all lost them.

I love all those angels in heaven, mom, grandma, Liz!  You are amazing women and we will never forget you!  Flowers tomorrow are in your memory and honor!  Happy mothers day!
Gail

Crazy Busy Life

I realized now that we're home, back to work - its hard to post anymore.  I think about it often and just never get the chance.

Basically life is good, great - just crazy!  Curt has adjusted very well to daycare and really likes it (yeah) - that is a relief.  However the first week we think it really triggered memories and he woke up with nightmares or crying  - we assume thinking of Ethiopia.  So it may not be a nightmare, but hard for a 1 year old to process why he's suddenly here.  It is just amazing to watch him as he watches EVERYTHING.  Today he saw a train for the first time - mesmerized watching it.  Sweet for me to see!

So he's still "close" to walking and just feels safer crawling.  Ha.

We also celebrated daddy's birthday AND aunt Stacey's as well!  All fun - enjoyed our first trip to a Japanese Steak house with the boys - it was fun - I love the food!

For Craig and I - work - life has been busy!  Craig had another AWESOME order from GM this year - last year they ordered 4000 hats - this year - 8000!  Seriously - an AWESOME order - so that is great for the store.  And me - as crazy as it is trying to get organized - I love my job.  For the first time in many years I feel like I'm using my brain on a consistent basis!  I feel like my work life has more meaning and I LOVE it!

We're just really busy - but loving our crazy life.  I'm getting excited for Mother's Day this year - I feel like its all complete!  Can't wait.  Not planning anything special, but it will be nice.

Hope everyone enjoys their evening.
Gail

Daycare and Work life

Well started back to work this week!  NOT bad.  It has been nice - people are so happy to see me and glad I"m there.  It really is nice!

Curt really is doing good at daycare.  He loves the other kids and Miss Jodi and the other ladies - so its good.  Guess he's fighting sleep - not surprised - but he's having a lot of fun and really just wants to be there with all the action!  So that is good I guess.  Glad he likes it.  BUT then he's so happy to see me at the end of the day - yeah!

Just a LOT going on - but it is all good.
I'll keep you all posted.
Gail

Ethiopia

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Birthday and Easter pictures -

Yep - we need to post more real Ethiopia pictures - just on a different computer - however here are some 1st Birthday and Easter photos to share

Enjoy

Gail

Easter Eggs are yummy

Yes Mommy got me bunny ears and someone gave me the big

YEAH

Papa with the grandsons

Dexter helping Curt look for eggs

The boys

Craig, Nate, me and Curt - Easter 2012

Egg Hunt Champion - oh yea

Mommy and Curt - HI

Birthday time - Nate helping Curt with his presents

Aunt Stacey helping too

A nice lady at church gave both boys an Easter Hat - they look cute

Curt in the hat AND his Birthday shirt

Party time with Papa

Party decorations - Elmo

Curt and HIS Cake (we had ice cream cake for everyone else)

Uncle Marcus (Gail's brother) and aunt Stacey

Hum - cake

Yep - I think I like this cake stuff

Silly Nate

Curt AFTER the cake - icing and cake EVERYWHERE!  He had fun.

Happy 1st Birthday

Yes - today our new son turns 1!  I'm so happy he was able to be home in time.  but it is a bitter sweet day.  I just can't help but think of his birth mother and what she sacrificed for the love of this little boy?  What she did - I can't even begin to imagine in May 2011!  She loved her son so much - that she did what she felt was best for him!  But I have to wonder - where is she today?  is she thinking of her little guy?  I know they are on a different calender - heck even a different year right now - what is it 2006 now?  Anyhow - they don't really celebrate birthdays  - but still.  I just will always be thankful to this woman and her family - where ever they are - with the help of our God - he brought our families together by this little boy and our lives are connected even if we will never meet!  I am thankful for them - our family is complete.  It was perfect before and it is just finally a Family of 4!  A Table for 4!  I love it.

Yesterday we celebrated with papa, grandma Mary, Uncle Marcus and Aunt Stacey!  It was a great day!  Curt was not sure about his cake at first - but then was like - OH YEAH - this is yummy!  He was so sweet.  Even got into opening presents - with the help of his big brother Nate!  On top of the Easter festivities - he had fun!  Its funny how the packaging or paper is sometimes more exciting.  I'll work to post pictures later.

But today - I love my family and my two sons so much!  I can't wait to celebrate with all of them  - as we request the table for 4 tonight!
Gail

Day to day life

Well we have been home just over 2 weeks now and also about to turn 1 next week!  LOTS going on in Curt's life. We do believe he's struggling with sleep at night as his mind processes the grief and loss of his life at Engida!  He was so well loved and cared for - it must be hard.  Don't get me wrong, he's a happy child - but I just feel and others have confirmed that this is common.  At his age he can't process things or verbalize it - so it comes out in his dreams. So we have had some rough nights.  I did start listening to all the advice - SLEEP during the day when he does - do NOT worry about the house or other things. so today we both snuggled on the couch for a good old fashion nap!  I loved it - I  miss those days with Nate!  He would sleep with us on the couch.

We will get there though - I'm getting LOTS of advice and recommendations.  So we'll see. I just have to continue to tell people it isn't always the same as just any child - this is my son and he lived in an orphanage since he was about 1 month old!  Since 3 months he was at only one  - Engida Addis Ababa and that is all he probably knows! so the grief at night is common and natural!  We'll get there.

Well I'm in the last two weeks of my time off - its hard to imagine going back to work, but I also love my job too!  Last week we found a wonderful home daycare that we will be using in Ferndale!  Not right off Woodward on my way home to get Nate - but not too far out of the way!  I really like it - one they just seem nice and clean - but the kids were so happy there.  But also that it came recommended by a friend. So that's good.

I hope to continue to post on here - I know we will have lots of things in life and I find all the blogs so helpful!

Anyhow - right now we are thankful we have NOT had any really rude comments.  One off the wall - "good luck YOU NEED IT" comment.  But then mostly looks.  OR better yet - the avoidance of a look from people that you think are n"friends".  I had that recently where I didn't expect it - but Craig and I said - oh well. They really weren't our "friends"  or definitely not a "GOOD" friend.  That our friends are not like that - and we are still happy.  And we'd rather just  not have the horrible comments.

Its interesting to see the older generation watching us when we're out - but then some of the ladies - well they all melt with one look at the smiles!

We truly are blessed.

Tomorrow my dear friend Shannon and family are finally flying to Ethiopia and will go meet their son in a few days!  I am so happy.  Please keep Shannon and her family in your prayers.
Thanks
Gail

Prayers for a sick little boy needed

Below is a post from Gabe's mom - you can see the link above.  they are struggling - Gabe is almost 5 and very smart - he probably realizes this is NOT how he's supposed to feel.  Please continue to keep him and the family in your prayers and thoughts
Gail

He's admitted - Cincinnati

Hi everyone!  

I wanted to share a quick update.  As I’m sure many of you have heard, we are concerned about a particular condition and concerned about Gabriel period right now.  We are headed to Cincinnati, Ohio a week from tomorrow to meet with a world known expert in immunology/blood disease and the leading expert in the particular disease we are worried about.  It sounds like they will be drawing substantial blood at our visit and will follow-up with a phone consult.  I really am unsure about what she is going to say and whether or not she is going to know what is wrong with Gabe.   

He’s been suffering a lot lately.  He’s had many bad headaches, lack of appetite and the loss of two pounds, low energy and irritability.  He presented last night with all these symptoms including a high fever.  The reason for the fever is unknown which is usually the case.   He was admitted at Beaumont around 11:00 last night. 

In addition to him not feeling good, he’s been going through some emotional stuff and I am worried about his spirit.  He cries a lot in the middle of the night and cries himself to sleep a lot.  Last night he was admitted while sleeping and awoken to a needle.  I have never wanted this to come to a resolution more in four years than I do right now.  I really want him to have a break. 

We are hanging in there the best we can and just getting by one day at a time.  We are feeling very loved and supported so thank you for that!

We are tossing the idea around of trying an immune system suppressant infusion drug just to see if it helps him feel better and not knowing if it will.  We may do this in the morning.

I will update later.

Rebekah 

Good posts about Race and educating others about adoption

All
There are a lot of good posts on the post - http://casselljourneytoafrica.blogspot.com/ - check it out.  I've asked and was told I could link to it here - I just know it is so well written that I couldn't write it that well myself.

Enjoy -
Gail

Adjusting to life in the USA

We have been home just under a week now and I have to say Curt is really adjusting well to life as a Backus in the good old USA!  He's been attaching to the 3 of us and even spent some time with Papa and Grandma Mary!  We're getting into a schedule of naps and sleeping.  We are now sleeping through the night and working on eating more foods.  I've decided to do a fast track on different foods so that he can learn to eat a lot of things.  We're currently on beans and peas and carrots!  A few other things are going as well.  He's eating some solid finger foods as well!  I'm sure in the coming weeks we'll have transitioned over to lots of finger foods - which should be entertaining for pictures.

Speaking of pictures - I haven't posted any here yet - but you can see a lot on my facebook page - I'll try and post some here later today.

Nate is really doing good as well - he's NOT liking questions by a lot of people  but if you him alone with his brother, he's just so good with him!  He's helping, he wants to push him around in the stroller and play with him.  Its great!

I have to say our family is pretty darn good!  We are COMPLETE!

Gail