Wednesday - last day in Addis

Seeing Curt one more time was so hard!  He's such a doll and I personally noticed how he smiled ore when he first saw me and then Craig!  Those eyes just brightened up - melted my heart!  We had fun playing with him and the two older kids.  They are sweet.  I did hear they are all referred to a family, these kids are going to Spain and France.  Yes LOTS of Europeans were there adopting as well. so its so great to know they are all being loved!

So Wednesday - our last day in Addis - I was able to go shopping!  That was an experience - they took us "near the post office" - not sure what that means, but it was good.  I only went to a few stores and figured I needed to see what I had and go back on trip #2 - I wasn't good at bargaining at all - but got some awesome art work, baskets, and other little gadgets for the boys, us and hopefully a few Christmas gifts in there  But a LOT of people approaching us and wanting us to give them something, take their kids - you name it - just hard to see that I don't think I would take Nate there!>

But it was fun hanging out with Sarah and her mom and Meg and George too!  Awooka - our driver - he was  so sweet - watching out for me as I was going ahead of Meg and George a bit - Sarah and her mom had been the day before and went farther ahead too!  But overall a great time - the people are just so kind!  I met an old man in one store - he was so sweet and I went back for more.  We also found a coffee place to buy roasted coffee beans to take home!  I know people will like it - heck I didn't mind it - and I do NOT like coffee. Granted I put their sugar and stuff in it - I did like the Machioto a LOT better.

That afternoon - our last visit with Sami - but like I said above -he was recognizing us.  I heard the care takers talking to him when we got there - "Sami - momma!  Papa!" - I noticed our picture book too!  WE had time to talk to his nurse - Sister Sala - wow - this woman is so nice and beautiful too.  She let us take pictures of his records, to track his immunizations,etc.  WE weighed him and Barahket (Meg - sorry I KNOW I spelt his name wrong) - Curt is at 8.2 kg - or 18.1 pounds - and I saw he was wearing 6 months - but those were a little tight.  I wasn't sure if that was a US size - but we'll see.  I know some things were shrunk on kids too - just worn over and over.  It was funny to see boys in girl clothes.  Sami ended up in some skort!  Ha -

Anyhow -a gain time to feed him - this time spaghetti and tomato sauce.  He loved that.  I can't wait to get him home and eating some baby food - just fun to remember all these stages.

Then we went back and packed -

dinner we had Yummy Pizza again - that is the BEST place to eat in Addis - we could get a pizza and two pops for maybe $4-5 US!  Yep - the two of us had a great meal for that  price.  And the pizza was awesome - the mozzarella I realized as soft and chunks - I will try this here!  And then hung out with the gang until we left - I have to say - we traveled with an awesome group.  Sarah, Shelly & Michael and then Connie and Rick!  Meg and George joined us later in the trip - but they were great too!  

So we left the hotel at 8 pm for our 11:55 pm flight.  I"m so happy Sue told us to leave early - unfortunately we couldn't reach the others to warn them - they MUST get there early.  The airport I have to say was the worst of it all!  we counted 5 different check in points - and two of those we had to get scanned!   People were just really rude - we couldn't even get into the building 10 feet with out being scanned.  Then stood in line to check in and check luggage.  The funny part - stood right behind the family we were in line behind when we arrived.  They were nice -brought two boys and had a successful court for their 2nd adoption!  The one boy - same age as Nate was tired and fell asleep on the luggage - it was cute.

So through that, and some man was helping people (even if we didn't need it) - lifting luggag3e  So as we were waiting for Rick and Connie - he walked by me and said TIP - and kept walking, came back and had his hand out!  I tipped him what we were told - and then he came back and said MORE!  I told him this was for MY family -just the two of us and that I had no more money - we walked away.  Then it was the line - 3rd point in all of this madness - this time for the passport/visa check out!  So there were a TON of people we think going to the Hajj - that was interesting to see - many appeared to us as from the villages we saw - so their first big trip.  so as we stood in this line - people decided to just walk past us - and take cuts - LOTS of them - about 20 girls.  we were not happy - but not going to say anything.  (ok - Craig said the Hajj was before - so not what they were attending) - so no idea.

After we made it through this point - we were upher's swiped by the "nice" person behind her!  Ha - some people.

anyhow - it was nice to get through and to the gate.  The flight was pretty packed - but it was good to be on the plane.

Lufthansa is a good airline - very efficient - and constantly wanting us to eat!  WE had DINNER at like 1:30 am!  And then breakfast before we landed the day before.  I wasn't hungry - but they still give you food and everything.  Ha!  At least I slept.

Once we landed in Frankfort - it was now December 1st - and 5 am in Frankfort - and then we had to wait 8 hours till our next flight!  UGH - we went to our terminal - it had very little shopping but all of us were just tired.  We finally found the stores open at 6 am for coffee and drinks.  This flight was another long one - landed about 40 minutes late - due to some winds, we flew over Iceland and Greenland - that was pretty cool to see!  I could see the coast lines of Ireland and England - it was pretty neat!

anyhow - getting home and through customs was pretty easy - just nice to be home!  WE were just so tired and I was starving - oh dinner was a "hotdog" - ha - I guess in German the hot god is some sausage thing stuffed with some "brown goo" - I couldn't eat it - grossed me out - craig said it wasn't bad!  Ha.  

Seeing Nate and my dad was great - so happy to be home - but miss Curt so bad!  Just want him home!

Alright - so that's about it - I forgot that on Tuesday night we had the traditional dinner - that was really great!  Seeing the song, dance, food, coffee and even Honey Wine!  Craig and Rick were on stage for dancing and some food.  Craig didn't feel good earlier in the day and poor rick - both somehow got sick that night!  And we all convinced them to start antibiotics to be on the safe side!  I think it helped.  But man this restaurant we went to - I don't know the name - it was really nice!  I'm still getting used to the food - I have a few things I do like.  I do NOT like the berbee seasoning very much - but its something I have to deal with.

Thanks for following our story - I feel like this is a crazy hodge podge of things today - but hang in there.

Gail

Tuesday - the 29th - COURT

Another PERFECT Day (well almost - Craig's not feeling well ) -

Today was court - we passed and were finalized before we left.  We arrived and were one of the first families there - and more and more just kept coming.  We had Sami our driver and the social worker with us.  So many families - a LOT of people from Europe!  and then the Ethiopian families that were there for the first court where they talk about giving up their parental rights.  So it was bitter sweet seeing them - but most looked "happy" for all of us adoptive families so that the kid still have a chance at life.  After seeing and learning more - its amazing how much poverty there is throughout the country, starving people.  Today Shelly and I had some ladies begging us to take their children.  It was sad.

Anyhow - at court - we were told before we came here that AAI families typically are in and out - well   it was 2 hours - and we were probably in the middle of the pack.  Which is fine - but long and hot in there.  The judge asked a few questions - people were in and out in under 5 minutes.  She asked the following (to the best of my memory)

1 - do you have other children at home
2 - does this child know about the adoption and how does he feel about it.
3 - do you know about the Ethiopian history?  How will you teach your child about his culture.  She then went on to explain that the kids will need to learn as they will have questions about their identity in the future.
4 - Do you understand that after this the adoption is finalized and can NOT be reversed.

That was about it - and she said I declare this finalized!  So we left in just a few minutes.

After that - we went to visit the University Museum - Lucy is NOT here - she is normally at the National Museum - but we were told she's on tour in the US.  We only went to the university museum and had a tour guide - he was great!  We learned so much more than most people.  It was truly a great learning experience.  We learned about folklore that parents tell the kids, I can't wait to find those to keep.  we saw art work, learned about the politics and rulers - it was just great!  and a lot about the Christian history here.  We again spent this time with Shelly and Michael - a LOT of fun.  After this we rushed back to find lunch - went to Yummy pizza - and man it is GREAT pizza!  I realized they use soft mozzarella cheese in chunks - NOT the stuff I buy in a bag at the store.  MUST try this at home. l

Then we met everyone at the hotel - Sadula Lodge - and we went to the orphanages.  Another family Meg and George arrived early this morning and have a son at Engida where Sami is at - so we got to meet them and share their first meeting with their beautiful son!  It was amazing.  Sami is just so beautiful - smiles so  much.  The one care taker told Craig that he remembered us (not sure -but we did leave the picture book Sunday) -but she said that he smiled even more when he saw us coming!  So that's good.  I think we were tested - I had to change his diaper (he doesn't like that) - and then we fed him later.  That was challenging - it should have been "cereal" - but it was a liquid we fed him via a spoon!  Ha.  So Sami is TOTALLY the perfect child for us -
first - spit up on me
second - as he was dong tummy time on my lap - TOOTED in my face  - and we have it on video - Nate should be proud of his little brother
third - the boy LOVES to eat!  and burp in my face as well.

For those that know the "Backus" boys - this will be perfect - and he loves music and TV.

So it was a great day - he cried when we left him - so that was sad, but good to know he likes being with us and playing with us.  OH and he likes to bang like a drummer!  YEAH FOR ME!

Tonight the 4 families all went with Alemu to a traditional Ethiopian dinner and dance.  It was beautiful.  Craig wasn't feeling well later in the day - I made him start the antibiotics JUST in-case.  So he was the excuse for people to go home early - everyone is just so tired.

Tomorrow is SHOPPING for me - and two families will go to court!  We also start the flights home tomorrow - leaving at 11:30 pm (so 3:30 pm Detroit time) and will arrive at 4 pm on Thursday.  I just pray we have a quick turn around with the Embassy like another family.  They just passed court 3 weeks ago - and  passed Embassy today!  just amazing it was so fast.

Anyhow - we are truly blessed.  This is a great experience.  We have a great child.  Its just funny how every child seems perfect for each family!  Everyone is going to be great --

Ok - its late - almost 11:30 - and we are busy tomorrow. packing and going to pack and GO HOME>  I miss my other son - Nate -the first perfect child - now we have two.

Thanks for following this -- I can't wait to share more.
Gail

Monday - the 28th - trip north

Oh man - Ethiopia is one of the most beautiful places on earth.  All the pictures I took - and YES I take many - I like to play like a photographer hobby person - anyhow - I have TONS and will never get them all here- but maybe a few hundred to facebook one day this weekend.  Anyhow - the picture will NEVER do the country justice with the pure beauty!

So we left at about 7 am yesterday - Monday - its not Tuesday.  At about 9 am we stopped for the bathroom and found out we were HALF way there - to the Blue Nile Gorge / Bridge and River!  Even with some over cast and clouds int he city - this place is just heaven on earth - Craig said it is the oldest country in the world - 800 BC - yes BC I got that right!  The gorge and river - amazing.  just pure beauty.
  And yes it took about 4 hours to get there - but well worth it.  The road we took was paved - but pretty new - anyhow - crazy - curves up and down mountains, in and out of small villages and towns.  people and animals ALL over.  it was rare to go a minute or two without seeing a person.  The poverty not only in the country but in the city is horrible.

Before we left the city we saw people living and sleeping on the sidewalks.  And the homes - wow if I ever say I have a small house - smack me - its a mansion here!  I really have a great appreciation for what I have and what we in America do have.  Granted we have poverty - but not like here.

out of the city - people live in metal houses - little shacks of what I would call corrugated sheet metal!  Some have a small store front - but really like an entry way size.  And many live in mud huts with grass roofs.  Little round huts!  I do have pictures of these.  Women will walk up to 30-40 miles a day - A DAY - to go to market, or into a village with wood, teft (its like wheat that is used for injera bread) - and other items.  Spices, etc.  Men - they work int he fields.  We did see lots of kids in uniforms off to school.  Some go in the morning and others in the afternoon.  But people walking all over - not many cars.

So we finally get to the gorge - its amazing.  The water levels are low this time of the year - but pure beauty.  On the way back we stop in a small village to eat traditional meal and yes I have pictures.  So we traveled with Shelly and Michael - and the 4 of us - were probably some of the first white people kids ever saw.  People begging every where (city too) or trying to sell us stuff.  We even had the traditional coffee -ok the guys did. But I tasted it - yummy and i don't like coffee.  Oh - on the way there I had a Makioto?  Not sure I spelled it right - but a sweeter, creamed like coffee - best I can call it.

So after lunch we stopped at the Portuguese Bridge.  This was a little resort - Germany in Ethiopia.  But hits bridge I think was made out of stone and some animal egg shells - was 500 years old.  We walked down to it - down some rock side of the mountain - yep - ME - the girl who just over 2 years ago weighted over 300 pounds - was hiking and climbing in this little mountain!  i did good.  Oh - did I mention Addis is at an elevation of 7000 miles?  So we are short of breath in the city - now add a mountain!  Once down, you walk n and over the bridge  - over a river, then below is a little ponds where the water falls from the river above.  Then we were in the edge of these mountains looking down!  Again these pictures I took will never show all the beauty!  We also saw some monkeys here!

Our next stop was a Monistary - a tour int his old church.  The pictures and museum - wow things are OLD there!  The pictures inside without a flash - not great - but ok.  We even took a picture of Nathaniel - an apostle from the Bible we were told.  Most people in Ethiopia are Orthodox Christians.

Anyhow - the day was just full of beauty and awe.  I will post a few when we get back home and even to facebook - probably mere there.  But i just can't wait to bring Curt back someday to see where he's from - I can't wait to get back.  Its just so beautiful!

Gail

attempt at an overview / journal entry

Travel days

Wow – a LONG trip – we left Friday evening at about 6 pm Eastern Time (Detroit time) and then arrived in Addis Ababa Saturday around 9 pm - and its 8 hours different – so one pm local Detroit time. Just crazy.

We flew Lufthansa – its really nice – and as Craig pointed out – VERY efficient! WOW – They had us loaded and on that plane so fast and organized. It was a pretty big plane – 2 -4 – 2 was the seats. We had the one set of 2 with a window – too bad it was dark or it would have been fun flying into Frankfort early Sat morning. It was nice -but not enough. We saw the sunrise in Europe! Ha.

So we had a few hours to hang at the Frankfort airport – really nice.

It was nice flying with Connie and Rick too – just to have another couple.

Unfortunately the flight had not just a crying child but a SCREAMING child – ugh! I got less than an hour of sleep – NOT fun – but it did help with the time change -

So the next leg was packed from Frankfort to Addis – wow – and we were in the middle. It was nice though – we liked it. The airport was a total adventure getting a visa, money, passport checked, luggage – yikes. Shannon – I will need to tell you a LOT of little things for the airport.

We met up with another family at the airport – so all 3 couples ended up on the same floor at the hotel. Its been nice. Our room is nice – waking up we could see the mountains and some really nice buildings and homes. And other construction projects – oh man for the safety person – NOT good scaffolding – a lot of “what not to do” pictures. But room is decent – we have to put the room key into a slot to turn on power, there is not heat or AC, and our TV doesn't really work – NO cable. We can see blurred or fuzzy stuff – so glad we brought some DVD's in case want to chill one night.

SUNDAY -

Ok – its beautiful here – we have ventured out a little bit – to the market to get some water and other things. Craig and I just wanted our own water – the elevation here is about 7300 feet! So needless to say we are out of breath and headaches with being so high. And we just figured easier and cheaper to get our own. The 6 of us took of on this adventure and NOW realized we went to far and turned down the wrong spot. Lots of kids asking for stuff – to shine our shoes for money and people selling every where! It was intense – we now no longer are taking a backpack out there – we are using the money belt and pouch – we each have one to use.

We did meet Sarah – her and her mom returned from the trip East – sounds gorgeous – she said she will share pictures for me to have! Yeah! They left to meet her daughter.

In 10 minutes the rest of us will go visit the two orphanages! To meet Sami an the other 4 kids (Rick and Connie are adopting 3 kids – they are so nice - their kids are at the same place as Shely and Mike's son). It will be cool to just check it all out! We all just want to get our hands on the kids! It was hard this morning – we had NO idea what the schedule was or what we were doing – but we know now! Just need to get there. I want to hold our son!

So I'll post more later – it will be fun.

Oh – the other thing – ONE towel for us, barely any toilet paper! Water pressure we knew would be low – but at leats it was hot! Just interesting. Our convertor and adopters work – so I was able to dry my hair -just still frizzy. And yes – it started to sprinkle as we came back from lunch! Had a cheese burger and fries – ok – the meat was spiced or cooked in something they use- not really for me. But it was lunch.

Ok – off to meet Sami! Yeah!!!!!

Meeting all the kids – Engida is a great place – the woman that work there just absolutely love the children! There are 8 babies and we saw 4 older kids. I brought some little cars and knew other kids would play with them – Sami wasn't too interested in them, but one of the little boys were. And the other loved the bubbles. The girls liked seeing their pictures and the videos we took. It was so cool! Sami – well he was just adorable. He is mellow – but loves music, watching Tv, talking to – and smiling! They had great ways for us to get him to smile and play. And he likes tummy time! Nate hated tummy time – so a little different. Sami is very strong and was slipping himself over – and can sit up – not the best -guess its good we registered for a Bumbo Seat – I think that's what it is called. He will love that if we can get him home soon!

After we saw Sami – we went to another location where two couple kids were all at with one other boy – I got to play with that little baby he was so cute. And their kids – again amazing. Its just so wonderful, the people that care for these kids are just so amazing, love them so much! And the kids love them - which is all good for attachment purposes. We are happy to know that. Its good. It was fun to be with Connie and Rick and Shelly and Mike as they met their kids!

Tomorrow we have breakfast at 6:30 – which is about 10 pm tonight for you all at home. And we will be going to the north for a tour of Ethiopia outside of the city.

Ok the battery is dying on here. Today was perfect – skyped with Nate too! Yeah – thanks to so many people that helped get my dad down to the basement to the computer! Yeah.

God bless you all!

Gail

First full day in Addis Ababa

So I'm dong a little journal as its not easy connecting in our room - right now we are in the dining area and have a good connection.  So good - thanks to some friends (Laurel and Angela - you are such Life savers) - we were able to reach my dad and Skype with him and Nate.

Ok - we MET, Held and kissed Sami!  It was the best day in many years - just like the day Nate was born!  Holding our new son - he's amazing.  He was sound asleep when we arrived and they woke him up - almost ha him sleeping in my arms - but they wanted us to see him do a little leg kick dance to music.  He's just adorable.  He LOVES watching TV already - perfect for his brother.  Loves the older kids and music - yeah!  The Backus clan will be completed!

anyhow - once the legal stuff is done we can posts the videos and picture.  He's great.

Its a LONG trip - I will post and share more about the flights and today - its been amazing.

Probably going to dinner soon with the other families - so we'll see.
Keep us in your prayers - tomorrow we will be traveling north with another couple - so that will be interesting to see the country side.  Addis Ababa is amazing - just very different here in Africa - weird to think we are really here

Ok all - Love you -
Gail

testing email posts

Good morning all - taking advice from a yahoo group person - trying to make sure we KNOW the email that works for posting.

I didn't get much sleep - hoping that's God's way of making me exhausted to sleep on the plane.  I'm praying that is it.

think I"m gonna rearrange some of the luggage to be checked and then do the carry on stuff.  Plus some shopping today 

Happy Black Friday - and safe travels to all that are traveling.

Gail

Lots to be thankful for (and freaking out)

Well Happy Thanksgiving to all you in the US - and then just another Thursday for anyone in another country!  My family has a lot to be thankful for - we leave tomorrow to meet our son Curt in Ethiopia and have our court date!

I know that a lot of emotions are flowing through - happy, nervous - all good things.  This is the trip of a life time to meet our son!  Amazing.  I just want Curt to like us - yes - I know he will love us one day - its just gonna take time and efforts.

In the mean time - we have my father here to watch Nate while we are gone - blessed by that and spending Thanksgiving with my mom's family!  Man - I miss her and my inlaws today - I miss smelling my Mom#2's (mother in-law) - stuffing and turkey cooking away.

anyhow - about to cry for no real reasons - random emotions which I think are normal.

Happy Thanksgiving - please keep us in your prayers as we make this adventure - I'm just amazed we are going to Africa - not many can say that.
Love
Gail

OMG ONE WEEK

Ok ONE week and we leave - yes freaking out!  FREAKING out.  But our call with the agency really was great info.  And talking to Sue today was TOTALLY helpful - glad I took notes from all conversations.  I can't believe in about 10 days we'll HOLD our little guy.

Learned more about HIM today from a family that held him last week - he's the personality of the place - but they felt it was good.  Just a happy and excited and probably very active kid!  Ha.

a few more things to buy - UGH - but we'll get there - a few electrical converters - just to make sure. The one we borrowed - we're not sure it will work there so to be on the safe side.  And then major cleaning at home.  Yep - nothing is ever done.

Oh and good news the one family that went last week - they were officially submitted to Embassy today!  That's good news. IF everything goes good - they could potentially bring their child home before Xmas!  Wow wouldn't it be amazing if Curt could come home by years end?  Wow - amazing.

anyhow - life is good!  Life is insane.

Good thing I went to the dr's office today - I've been sick since traveling last week and just not getting better. I have an ear infection, throat infection and possible sinus infection!  They said its very early so starting antibiotics today I will be feeling OK to fly!  They said if I had waited and flew next week the pressure changes in flying would really HURT my ears and I'd be miserable!  Thank God I listened to my instincts.

Anyhow - we just feel God's guiding us and he's taking care of us and others are taking care of us too!

I know I"m rambling - say I"m sick, stressed  - traveling in a week - whatever.  But I saw the donations from Nate's pediatrician - I thought a little box!  NOPE - a full paper size box and then a bag!  Then the dentist will give us more tomorrow.  The church kids gave us a LOT, a friend at work, church and a few others gave us MORE!  OH My - not sure we'll hit the weight limits on this trip - we'll figure it out.

HUGS to everyone.
Gail

AWESOME News - Court updates and more

wow - crazy day!  So we travel a week from Tomorrow!  OMG is about all I can say.  I'm not feeling well, overwhelmed and just going CRAZY.  I need to get to a DR tomorrow and mine's not taking anyone - NONE of the dr's have openings.  NOT fun.  So looks like I'll find a new one.

anyhow I had a conference call with the wonderful other mom's to be and Sally at the agency today for answering questions.  While on the call Sally informed Sarah and I our first court date PASSED today!  (well her's yesterday and we anticipate the other two families tomorrow - yeah).  So then she sent me a note - our letter is there and Done!  This usually takes up to 2 weeks AFTER our appointment - so this is done about 2 weeks early!  AMEN - as our friend Joanne said when I picked Nate up tonight - its a God thing - he wants this boy home!  Its all working out because God wants THIS CHILD WITH US!  I think - no - I KNOW she's right.

Then I was asked to speak at LOGOS's - this is our children's week night group at our church.  Unfortunately I work too far away to get Nate there every week -but they asked if I could speak about adoption and Ethiopia!  I was TOTALLY shocked when the kids brought two huge basket of donations for us to take!  Not only did the parents donate things but many of the kids used their own personal savings!  AMAZING!  Truly amazing.  The sweetest thing.  I get tears in my eyes just typing this!

Anyhow - our other friends found out they were officially submitted to the Embassy today - yeah for them!  They were just there last week - so this is GREAT NEWS!

Just a few things to be thankful for this year!  Very happy about that.  Looking forward to it all!  A few other things happening in our life - its just insane at the moment - but God works in mysterious ways.

Thanks for the support and please keep us in your prayers as we fly next week.
Gail

2 more weeks

Wow - 2 weeks from today and we are flying to Ethiopia, Africa!  YEP - Wow - guess I doubted this day would ever really come more than once.  I'm still in shock - have TONS to get done before then.  But going to cherish every moment - it will be well worth it.  We can't wait.

anyhow - lots going on - just can't wait.
Hopefully now with USCIS is in Addis things will progress?
Gail

12 years ago today

Yes- 12 years ago today I married the love of my life, my best friend and the man of my dreams - all rolled into one!  It was a perfect day - not "devils" night as many call it around Michigan, but an Angels night as Detroit likes to call it!  It was perfect, snowing earlier in the week and after - but 75 degrees, sunny and perfect -

Family and loved ones were there for the big event.  It was just gorgeous.  It was a great day  -and every day since has continued to grow our love and devotion for each other.  We've ventured to New Jersey as newly weds, leaving the life we new.  It was a great adventure that soon led us  back here!  We are now venturing to Ethiopia to meet our son in a few short weeks.

A lot has happened, the good, bad and ugly - but every second has been worth it!

I can't wait to add one more member to complete our perfect family!

Enjoy today -
Love
Gail

Overwhelming

Wow - in just about a month, Craig and I will be heading for Detroit Metro (ok a month from Tuesday - the 25th) - and embarking on the first trip of a lifetime!  We will meet our future son - Curtis Samuel Backus!  Wow - I can't wait. but in the mean time I think all the emotions, the to do list - and everything is just overwhelming!  I'm on the verge of tears at the moment.  I just want it all to be perfect - but I know its not gong to be!

I will have problems, I may pack the wrong thing, buy the wrong thing, do or say the wrong thing.  I can't make perfect, I know I have to let this go to God's hands!  But ye - I'm scared.
so last week I obsessed about the travel arrangements, should I just order online myself, go to the travel agent, what will save us the most money and give us the most time.  Well needless to say - we opted for the travel agent.  I know that's best - I really do.

Now this weekend - I"m obsessing over the nursery - do we use the same theme we did for Nate?  Do we do something different?  I can't find all the stuff that went with Nate's room.  I think I donated it all!  NOT GOOD - well no not all, but the valences, the wall borders, etc.  All the things I want right now.  I did find the lamp, mobile, wall hangings, comforter (wall hanging) and stuff.  I love this one.  I can't get the borders online.  I painted over the gorgeous wall mural my cousin painted - so that's long gone.  But then my mind keeps going to the jungle theme - something different then the underwater/dolphin theme.  I know Curt will be fine - he's not even 1 yet - he wont' care.  but I want his life to be perfect.  I want him to be happy, loved and healthy!

I know this will all work out - I have to continue to put my faith in God's hands - he's brought us this far hasn't he?  I don't know where else all this would have come from if it weren't for his hand guiding me to this country and this choice and Craig coming along for the ride.  Ha - he was a HUGE part in all this - I just knew long ago I wanted to adopt as well.

anyhow - life is overwhelming - I know we will be fine.  I did try to donate a lot of old stuff to the Salvation Army today - so that felt good.  Unfortunately they stopped taking donations - so our living room is loaded, the nursery is loaded and the van as well!  Ha - yep - see LOTS to do in the next few weeks.  I guess this is good for the second trip - getting more "nesting" time done.

Well tomorrow starts a new day and week!  Hopefully I won't have to travel this week - I doubt they will send me out - but I have a feeling I will be on the road NEXT week.  So that's fine - at least I can help another plant out.

anyhow - I'm so excited to go meet our little guy, take pictures of all the other kids and meet these wonderful families traveling with us!  It will be fun.  I need to just let go and enjoy!  Stop worrying about making things perfect when its life and only God is perfect - as long as I try to do the right things and live in his image - we'll be fine.

yep - hormonal, emotional and feeling like crap with these allergies today!  All that's adding up to a fun day!
Happy Sunday - it was beautiful here and I hope everyone else had a great sunny day!  I had fun with my two boys and hoping the 3rd will come home soon.
Gail

Travel plans made

Wow - things are getting more and more real!  Our travel plans are booked, we have flights, will have a day trip north and then take in some local sites around Addis  My dad's flights are booked and he'll be here to watch Nate while we are gone (an the 3 fur balls too). We got notice of more forms that we need to have filled out and I need to figure out all the financials still (oh - pray for us).

anyhow - just can't help but think in just a few weeks we can hold our little boy!  I just keep looking at kids where ever I'm at and thinking - we'll have a baby soon!  Curt will be 7.5 months when we meet him!  I just can't wait!

I bought some books for both boys while on my trip this week - can't wait.

Now just happy to be home for a few days - but just more and more to think about what needs to be done!!!!  Oh so overwhelming.

Some good news - it sounds like some people traveling a few weeks before us - the paper work is already at the courts and done?  That's Great - maybe things were caught up during the rainy season!  Now if only the Embassy stuff can get figured out  - we shall see.

Ok- babbling as usual
Gail

Things to consider when asking questions about adoptive families

So I read the following post on a blog that I follow last night.  I asked the writer, Kirsten if I could borrow and post.  I want to keep this for when we bring Curt home - as I'm sure we will need to read and remember these things for years to come.  Kirsten wrote this so well, I just knew I couldn't do it justice like she did - so thank you for letting me post this here.

So anyhow - I've read the books too and just know I totally agree with everything here.  I'm sure we will have this when we get home.  Heck - I"ve already dealt with some of these comments from many people, and some you would think would never ask.  But that's alright  - many people are learning through our family experiences.  I know LOTS of couples that learned from my experiences years ago with PCOS and the infertility treatments.  I feel I was able to share my life and hopefully help others.  And then the last 2 years with my gastric bypass -again I'm proud of this choice - to save my life -to get healthy.  Yes it was drastic - but something that was the only thing left for me.  And it did save me!  I only have to see the blood results again, my blood pressure, and just seeing me raking leaves yesterday-you will know I'm going to live a long time!  And I'll hopefully help ONE person out there realize - its ok.

And now - with the adoption - trying to explain - WHY we didn't pick a child from the US or WHY didn't get want a child "just like us" - well honestly it doesn't matter!  God made this choice and placed it in our hearts. God chose our future son for us.  It took us a while to get to that point, but its one I'll NEVER regret.  And now -I just hope to share the story with others that struggle with expanding their family!  This is OUR story - and maybe it will help another person figure it out -

so for now - read the post below - its written amazingly well about ONE families story.  One I happen to agree with and am inspired by their challenges on how to approach our future life.
Gail

The Power of Language

The words we use are so powerful. And sometimes we don't realize at all what we are saying or how it comes across.  I know a lot of people in the adoption community get very offended by certain terms. I don't blame them, although I am not as easily offended.  I figure I'd rather give the other person some grace and realize that they probably don't realize what they are saying.

For the past two years, I've been doing all kinds of training; reading books on interracial adoption, reading about adoption in general, doing web-inars, etc. I'd consider myself fairly well-educated on the matter. Plus, I'm a social worker. In grad school, the power of the labels/language we use was drilled into my head. I try to always be very aware of what my words are saying.

But I have to realize that many people are not. They didn't spend two years learning about adoption and probably didn't have any grad school classes on language.  I can choose to get upset over what they say or I can educate them. I think, in most cases, people just don't have the working vocabulary they need to talk appropriately about adoption.

And I figure most of y'all who read this blog are my family or close friends or you know someone in the adoption community. So I thought I'd provide a tiny lesson on adoption language, free of charge! :)  Here are some rules of thumb for talking with adoptive families:

Please don't ask me about Amani's "real parents." Rob and I are his real parents. I know who you are talking about when you say that, but to be honest, it hurts my feelings a tiny bit. And, MUCH more importantly, someday Amani will hear and understand your words. He will wonder why you think his Mom and Dad are not his real parents.  Feel free to say "birth parents" but don't expect us to tell you anything.

Please don't ask me about my "own" kids. All three of them are my own.  I've had people say, "oh, I didn't realize you couldn't have any more of your own." Or say things like "what do YOUR kids think."  I know you mean my biological children, but every child of mine is my own. I don't want Amani to ever hear this and think he is not mine.  I don't want Riley and Allyn to hear this and think he's not ours, too!  (And in case you were wondering, we chose to adopt. We had no reason to believe we couldn't have more biological children. We believe adopting is just as good of an option for growing a family).

Don't ask "where did you get him?"  That's the kind of question you ask someone with a new puppy.  "Where is he from?" is much more appropriate. I know those don't seem like important differences, but if you want to connect with the mom you're asking these questions of, I promise it's an important distinction.

Please don't ask "Was he expensive?" or "How much did he cost?"  I did not purchase my child. I NEVER want him to get that impression. EVER.  It's probably never appropriate to ask someone about the cost of their adoption in the presence of their children, but if the kids aren't around, it's fine by me if you ask if adoption is expensive. But then I just might ask you how much you paid your OB or midwife for your labor & delivery! :)

And don't try to use him to get a certain message across. He is not a poster-child for adoption. He's not a poster-child for Ethiopia.  I am happy to speak about adoption or about Ethiopia but I am not bringing my child with me as a prop.  If you were giving a talk on birth and labor, you probably wouldn't bring your baby along when there was a much more age-appropriate activity for your child to participate in.  The same goes for us. Amani is a child, not a message.

That's a lot of "don'ts".  Want to know what you CAN do if you see someone with a child and you think it's maybe an international adoption?

Compliment their child.  Every mother loves to hear great things about their children. I was out with Amani tonight and was told twice that I have a pretty baby. It made my heart sing.  And if they had chosen to follow that statement up with nicely-worded questions about adoption, you know I would have been happy to talk to them about it!

Talk about regular mom stuff. Get a conversation going the way you would with any other mom. Say "how old is he?" or make some kind of comment about something your child did at that age. You know, those weird things we mamas say to each other when we're sitting on the benches inside the Chick-Fil-A play area. To that mom, their child is not "my adopted child." He is simply "my child." Act accordingly.

Ask.  If you aren't sure if it's okay to talk about a child's adoption, wait until the child is not around and ask if it's okay. Some parents are super-open about talking about their children's adoptions. Some are not. It's okay to ask.  But be prepared to allow them to say they don't want to talk about it. Just because it is obvious that a child is adopted doesn't mean the parents are open to discussing it.  For us, I'm more than happy to talk about it as long as it's also appropriate for Amani to hear what we are saying. If it's not, be prepared for me to change the subject, hoping you'll take the hint that now is not the time.

And don't freak out. We all make mistakes in our wording. We do it all the time. Our culture condones a lot of it. I'm certain I've said things that I didn't mean to say or I didn't think before I spoke.  And I'm not writing this post in response to anything in particular, so if you are my friend, please don't wonder if I'm talking about you! I promise, I am not!!! You don't need to walk (or talk) on eggshells around me. But realize that, just like every mom, I want what is best for my children, and that includes what they hear about how they came into our family.

So now you know. And knowing is half the battle! ;)

Making plans

Well I hope to make the flight reservations this weekend!  The flights are open but filling up!  I know another family probably flying on the same dates - hoping we can get the same or flights close if they don't mind -ha!  Tagging along to meet the kids!

I"m still overwhelmed by it all.  Trying to figure out what gifts to bring everyone.  I may take a few now and more at the next trip.   I'm slowly getting ideas and things to bring for people.  Just a lot of stuff going on!  Just crazy.

I must travel this week - but better to get it out of the way now before our future little Curt comes home.

So anyhow in all the stuff going on - our little guy turned 6 months old last Sunday - happy birthday baby boy!  Wish we could be with you - but soon.  We were spending the weekend welcoming your new Aunt Stacey into our lives as she married your uncle Marcus.  Your newest cousin Christopher joined the week before - everyone's so excited to really see and hold you!  Even all the family friends.

Hold on tight - only 6 weeks and we will be with you soon and getting to explore the beautiful country you are from.
Love mommy and daddy