Overwhelming

Wow - in just about a month, Craig and I will be heading for Detroit Metro (ok a month from Tuesday - the 25th) - and embarking on the first trip of a lifetime!  We will meet our future son - Curtis Samuel Backus!  Wow - I can't wait. but in the mean time I think all the emotions, the to do list - and everything is just overwhelming!  I'm on the verge of tears at the moment.  I just want it all to be perfect - but I know its not gong to be!

I will have problems, I may pack the wrong thing, buy the wrong thing, do or say the wrong thing.  I can't make perfect, I know I have to let this go to God's hands!  But ye - I'm scared.
so last week I obsessed about the travel arrangements, should I just order online myself, go to the travel agent, what will save us the most money and give us the most time.  Well needless to say - we opted for the travel agent.  I know that's best - I really do.

Now this weekend - I"m obsessing over the nursery - do we use the same theme we did for Nate?  Do we do something different?  I can't find all the stuff that went with Nate's room.  I think I donated it all!  NOT GOOD - well no not all, but the valences, the wall borders, etc.  All the things I want right now.  I did find the lamp, mobile, wall hangings, comforter (wall hanging) and stuff.  I love this one.  I can't get the borders online.  I painted over the gorgeous wall mural my cousin painted - so that's long gone.  But then my mind keeps going to the jungle theme - something different then the underwater/dolphin theme.  I know Curt will be fine - he's not even 1 yet - he wont' care.  but I want his life to be perfect.  I want him to be happy, loved and healthy!

I know this will all work out - I have to continue to put my faith in God's hands - he's brought us this far hasn't he?  I don't know where else all this would have come from if it weren't for his hand guiding me to this country and this choice and Craig coming along for the ride.  Ha - he was a HUGE part in all this - I just knew long ago I wanted to adopt as well.

anyhow - life is overwhelming - I know we will be fine.  I did try to donate a lot of old stuff to the Salvation Army today - so that felt good.  Unfortunately they stopped taking donations - so our living room is loaded, the nursery is loaded and the van as well!  Ha - yep - see LOTS to do in the next few weeks.  I guess this is good for the second trip - getting more "nesting" time done.

Well tomorrow starts a new day and week!  Hopefully I won't have to travel this week - I doubt they will send me out - but I have a feeling I will be on the road NEXT week.  So that's fine - at least I can help another plant out.

anyhow - I'm so excited to go meet our little guy, take pictures of all the other kids and meet these wonderful families traveling with us!  It will be fun.  I need to just let go and enjoy!  Stop worrying about making things perfect when its life and only God is perfect - as long as I try to do the right things and live in his image - we'll be fine.

yep - hormonal, emotional and feeling like crap with these allergies today!  All that's adding up to a fun day!
Happy Sunday - it was beautiful here and I hope everyone else had a great sunny day!  I had fun with my two boys and hoping the 3rd will come home soon.
Gail