Press & Argus Obituary ~ June 23, 2004

Loretta Jane Wilcox

Loretta Jane Wilcox
Age 58, of Howell, died Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at St. Joseph Mercy Hospital, Ann Arbor. She was born May 11, 1946 in Powe, Missouri, the daughter of Clarence and Mary (Grindstaff) Britt. She was employed as a cashier for Sefa's Market for 10 years then became a customer service representative for Citizen's Insurance for 12 years. She is survived by husband, Douglas L. Wilcox, whom she married August 19, 1967 in Pontiac; children, Gail (Craig) Backus of Redford & Marcus Wilcox of Howell; dear sister to Helen Wright; Mary Adams both of Missouri; Norman Britt of OK; Laura Franklin; Shirley McCabe both of TX and Johnie Britt of MI and mother-in-law, Gurneith Wilcox of Howell. She was preceded in death by her brother, Leonard Britt and sister, Alma Walles. Funeral services will be held Friday, June 25, 2:00 P.M. at the First Baptist Church, 210 Church Street, Howell with Dr. Gary Bruland officiating. Interment will follow at Lakeview Cemetery. Visitation will be Thursday from 1-4 & 6-8 P.M. at MacDonald's Funeral Home, Howell (517-546-2800). Memorial Contributions suggested to Leukemia & Lymphoma Society or First Baptist Church.

Baby Update

Well we have some good news this week- baby news. The baby is definatley on its way - it could be here anytime basically - and the doctor did say it is possible to go full term (another 4 weeks). So that is good - but a big possibilty the baby still can come early.

I have started to dilate already - 1 cm - 10 cm is needed. So cRaig and I have the lecture on what to look for and not to stray too far from home basically - just stay in the metro area.

We also had an ultrasound which dad was able to be at with us - due to everything this week, they could squeeze us in this afternoon. So that was so nice for me to have dad there with me! I am still hoping he'll be with Craig and I when the baby is born- still need my "birth partners"! I think we can con him into that as well.

Baby looks healthy - big - about 6 pounds so far (just a guess). But I'm sure its a good guess.

Craig and I will probably keep this website going to now share the happy news for the next month or so. Please feel free to check in - mom was so excited for this baby and we KNOW that the baby and her family were always topic #1 over the last few weeks. She'd want everyone to be happy for this occasion and remember all the good times- her family and friends were the most important thing in her life - everyone came first in her book.

Leukemia & Lymphoma Society

I did some research about the Leukemia Society. Please consider making a donation to them in lieu of flowers. The mailing address is:

The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society
Office of Donor Services
1311 Mamaroneck Ave.
White Plains, NY 10605

Their website is:

www.leukemia.org


On-line donations can be made at:

Donate Online Now

Funeral Arrangements

Loretta lost her battle today. On Sunday, we just thought it was a bad day, but that it would pass. I thought all along that she would get better, but everything just went wrong, and she passed away this morning at 9:00 AM.

Visitation will be at MacDonald Funeral Home on Thursday. Visiting hours will begin on Thursday at Noon for family and then opens up to everyone at 1 PM until 4 PM. We'll continue in the evening from 6 PM until 8 PM.

The funeral itself will be held on Friday. Visitation will begin at 1:00 PM at the First Baptist Church in Howell and the funeral will be held at 2:00 PM. The service will last approximately 45 minutes, and then will be followed by the internment at Lakeview Cemetery in Howell. We'll return to the church for an early supper at 3:30.

We really do appreciate all of the thoughts and prayers, and just continue to think of Loretta and the family.

First Baptist Church
210 Church St
Howell, MI
517.546.2830

North of the Court House in Howell


MacDonald Funeral Home
215 N Michigan Ave
Howell, MI 48843
517.546.2800


Florist

Country Lane Flower
729 S Michigan Ave
Howell, MI

517.546.1111


Donations can be made to the Leukemia Society of America or to the First Baptist Church in Howell.


Doug's Address is:

Doug Wilcox
1274 S Alstott Dr
Howell, MI 48843

Miracle Needed

Ok - mom's doing pretty darn bad - I probably won't post much this week.

She's in ICU, in a coma, the THINK she has perminant brain damage from a possible blood clot OR that the leukemai has spread to her brain and spinal fluid. She's too week and her blood counts are too low to do the tests. Oh - but ironically- her white blood cells are way up and over the level to come home - nice huh?

Anyhow - the siblings are all on their way up and some will be in tonight and staying at the hospital with dad and Marcus. I needed to rest - I'm exhausted - tried to sleep at the hotel at the hospital this afternoon - and just couldn't. Not like I"ll get much sleep tonight - but in my own bed.

Please pray for some miracle that we will all get through - it does not look good at all. Please know we will inform people of everything later this week. Right now - pray for Dad, Marcus, Craig, Baby B and I. We need the strength to get through all of this - especially dad.
Love,
Gail and family

Emergency Prayers needed

Ok - mom had a horrible day yesterday - long story - must tell later.

Anyhow - she fell alseep yesterday afternoon and the doctors can not get her to wake up at this point. Please pray for her to wake up and feel better. Pray for my father, Marcus, Craig and I and all the relatives that we can make it through another day too.

She has been moved from her room and is now in the ICU - we can not accept phone calls today - please understand - mom takes number one priority at this moment!

Mom's Surprise

Marcus, dad, Craig and I all met for lunch today to celebrate Marcus' birthday and father's day. Then we all headed over to visit with mom. She was pretty tired, they were giving her more platelets and blood - so they had her doped up on Tylenol and Benedryl. But she was coming around when we were there. She even was all dressed up and got out of the room. She had told the nurses her family was all coming and they made her get all done up. I guess they decided that her chemo is over and its time to dress in something other than hospital gowns! So that was really nice of them.

It was a nice visit - but mom is still very weak and tired. Her counts did all go up today! Her white counts went up 400 points! So that was good news too. We are just trying to build up the strength and get her butt home.

The nurses there are just great and all know we are expecting a baby/grandbaby soon- plus its a little hard to hide my belly or waddle anymore. I'm ALL out front. So I asked if mom could hear the heart beat with a stethescope. So the nurse went to get it - and instead ran up to the maternity ward and took a some doppler equipment that allows you to hear the heart beat so much easier! After a while we finally found it! It took 3 nurses - and we figured out the baby is facing downward and is sideways today. Hopefully it will turn or else that is grounds for a c-section. Anyhow - we heard the heart beat! It was so exciting to share that with the family. A little embarassing, because some other people walked in and got a nice belly shot with all these nurses around me with some monitor - I was pretty well blocked - but a little odd to see I'm sure. I think some people were also sitting in the room could hear it as well - they all just smiled! It was nice to see a big smile on mom and dad's faces. We aer going to the ultrasound on Wednesday - mostly to see how big this little one is - we are hoping they will not recommend inducing labor early - Craig and I are just not ready! And we feel that if baby and I are fine - we'd rather wait a few more weeks to let the baby develope as much as possible. I'm planning on asking for a good picture just for mom to have! The nurses say that is one of the things keeping her going - the baby and her family!

WE finaly were able to give her all the posts today - you can't imagine how much those mean to her. Also all the gifts people are sending, dropping off and even making! To the Bunko Group - that quilt was beautiful and you had us all in tears with that poem. And Sal and Katie - not sure if Marcus ever shared this website - but she loved the frog too! I know many others have sent gifts, cards, anything - trust me she loves it all and I can't remember them all off the top of my head.

I'm hoping to spend more time with mom tomorrow - I think I was in withdraws not seeing her all week - but my sore throat is totally gone.

Friday afternoon update

HI all - spoke to mom only for a brief time today - she's very tired and needs her rest - doctors orders for the day. rest today and build strength back up tomorrow. She's taking it to the letter!

the blood counts really are not moving much - white cells did go down yesterday (dad told me that last night). Its very frustrating - but we just hope it means the chemo is working and doing its thing.

I haven't been able to confirm all this with dad yet - realized I have made too many calls on my cell phone - so trying to behave till next month and extra minutes kick in. Anyhow - mom said the doctor plans on taking a bone marrow sample next week - even though she's got a lot of sores right now. He said it doesn't matter. We really won't know what's going on and how things have worked until he gets those results back. Not sure how long that will take - I know from before it took about 48 hours to evaluate the bone marrow to finally determine ALL. But it took about a week to get the final results - but they thought it was something else first. So we'll see. Please keep us all in your prayers - especially mom for strength and patiences to get through this trial in her life. We are all staying very positive and need all the positive re-enforcemtns we can get right now. I know I've never been good with surprises and the "not knowing" so this is very hard on me. I know its hard on all of us - we are not ready to give up this fight yet - and gosh darn it - we will do what ever it takes to do this.

If mom needs a bone marrow or stem cell transplant - please think very hard if you would ever consider being a donor. We know there is a good chance that a relative will be a match - but just incase - think about it first. If needed, we'll go out and ask people to get tested - even if you can't help mom - just think you can help someone else. I've been on the databank for a few years now and have never been contacted.

Baby Update

Good news - baby is still BIG! I guess my belly measures pretty big right now - but that is ok. The heart rate and my blood pressure is still good. They now want me to come in once a week for a check up - probably going to see how things are progressing more closely. The good/bad news - the ultrasound is scheduled for next week - June 23rd! That is good news - bad (well not really bad) - not sure if mom will be out to come see the ultrasound. If not - we hope dad can come as well- he needs a little happy boost as well. He just doesnt' want to know the sex - we'll see. Its up to the baby if its ready to let me know.

Getting excited! Time is getting close - only a few more weeks! 5 weeks and counting!

Do we have to bring our own?

MId week!

Well I just got off the phone with mom - she sounds pretty darn good! The bag-o-food seems to be doing the trick to get her some strength back. Her counts have been going up all week as well - not sky rocketing up - but continuing the climb in the right directions! So that is good. she should finish the 12 day chemo this Friday and then I think we wait till her counts go up and she can come home! The plan is (as of early this week) that she'll have a few weeks off to rest and build strength back up before the 5 day treatment - so that will be nice. If we can get her home for a few weeks - she should be able to go see the ultrasound at the end of June! So I'm excited. I still have to get permission from the doctor tomorrow - but I don't see why her and dad can't come in for a little glance at mom's little peanut.

She's loving everyone's phone calls, cards, etc. It means so much to her - she just is so amazed people care so much is all she says. We keep telling her its because of her - she's too loveable and loves everyone else. Some day it may sink in.

Other than that - life is good - baby update will come tomorrow! I can't see mom right now due to a sore throat - but will get it checked out by the doctor tomorrow. HOpefully its just allergies and not a virus I heard was going around.

We also ordered mom's wig this week! will be interested to see how it looks on her - we decided she'll be blonde! She's very positive about the hair - and so glad my aunt Chris was able to give her some hats/turbins. She's been using them a lot.

Will update with baby news tomorrow and any new info on mom. So far this week - its all been pretty normal.

Mom and Nursery update

Ok - mom's doing a lot better - her counts went up a little more today and her strenght is getting better. We know it takes time - but any progress to be seen is good. Her doctors are still happy with her progress.

Marcus went today to start the process to see if he will be a match to donate platelets to mom. If necessary, we may ask the family in MIchigan to do so as well if they are willing. We first will see how Marcus matches and go from there. To do anything - you would need a note or request from mom's doctors - so don't worry about it yet. He's just being very proactive and wanting to know who is a good match for anything needed now rather than wait till its needed in an emergency situation. So that is good. Not sure if he's received or reviewed all the siblings bone marrow results yet - I'll keep on mom and dad to remember to ask. I know I have been tested already too and in the databank - so maybe I'm a match and we can figure it out when needed. I unfortunately can't do anything with blood until after the baby is here (and not sure how long I have to wait). And the baby may be a stem cell donor too! Wouldn't that be cool.

Mom's tired now - but feeling a lot better - knows a lot of the family are coming up this summer and looking forward to visits and picnics with everyone.

Baby news - Craig finisehd all the furniture for the nursery! We now have it all in its spot and the bedding is on the bed. Fudd even tested out the crib and seemed to enjoy it. His new place is the rocking chair and ottoman in the nursery. Just happy he's adjusting to the change and getting used to the room now before the baby arrives. Next, my cousin Kyle is coming to see what she can do to paint a mural on the wall(s) for us later this week. We are very excited - she's very talented too- so it will be very special. We still need to put things away, but waiting to move things for painting &/or border first. So getting excited. Next appointment is Thursday morning - Marcus' birthday!!! He's hitting the big 30! See I can say this because I know he doesn't even know what this website is - he can get mad later :-) (not sure if that smily face will come out)

Weekend UPdate

Ok - I sound like the SNL skit. Anyhow - was able to visit with mom for a little bit today. She's still just exhausted from the treatments on Friday. They did her new daily chemo in the morning and didn't do the big "Friday" treatment till after 5 pm. So the double dose and continued daily treatments have just worn her out! So please know if the phone is busy she probably has it off the hook. IF its busy for more then 30-60 minutes just make that assumption. She needs her sleep right now. And today - they are giving her platelets and all the antibiotics - so she's just going to be resting a lot this afternoon and evening.

Over all - she's doing pretty darn good, the counts did go down a little as expected after Friday's treatment - but not as low as they have in the past. So that is really good. WE know they go down on the weekends and usually rebound by MOnday - so she'll feel better tomorrow.

The doctors finally started her on food through the IV - she just isn't able to eat that much. It sounds silly - but I don't think we can understand until we are in her shoes. Some of the biggest side effects of chemo is sores in the mouth, lack of appetite and nothing tasting good. She's got them all right now. And the medicine for her mouth makes it worse. She is trying very hard to eat as much as she can. And that will help - they think the medicine for her mouth has coated her stomach and real food will be able to help wash that out of there and help her feel better. Even if she can't -the nutrition in the IV will just give her some of her strenght back. WE are all hopeful that once the 12 day treatments are done (should be this next weekend) her counts will have built up high enough to come home. Its a little scarey -but we know that the doctors won't let her come home until she's able. And like I've said before- we will continue with family only visits for a while until mom is ready. Getting an infection now will just push the last 5-6 weeks of treatments down the tube! I know no one wants to see that happen. And I need her healthy to see the baby's ultrasound in a few weeks and to be there at the hospital when the baby is born (my doctors are fine with it - but she will need her doctors permission - she won't hurt the baby or I - but we need clearance that her counts are ok to be at my hospital).

So over all - good weekend lots of positive news! Very thankful - just seeing her weak is very difficult - mom's never really been too sick. So for all of us - its hard to watch and see her like this. FAith in God will get us through and it seems to be working.

Continue with the phone calls - it does mean a lot to her talking to family especially! She loves you all so much and she loves the posts that Craig prints off of this website for her too!
Love Gail and gang

FYI - Posts

Just to let someone know - I deleted the one post from yesterday ONLY because it was accidentally a duplicate and I figured out how to do it. I unfortunately did not realize it left a note that I deleted it. Sorry -

Also - I've had a few people email me asking who's been posting the nice poems and writings the last few days. People seem to really find inspiration in them and would were wondering if you could include your name (that is of course up to you). People say thank you!

Have a good day.
GAil

A new Start?

Well its Saturday morning - won't be talking to mom till later this afternoon in hopes she is getting the needed rest she needs this morning. Yesterday was a little different than the last few Fridays. DAd was able to get to the hospital in time to see the doctor again (Yeah!) - but man its very early before 7 am. The doctor said he didn't think they would do the 12 day chemo yesterday but do the normal Friday chemo. Anyhow - that changed - they ended up deciding to do both. Which is fine -it just postponed the big Chemo treatment back to late afternoon/early evening. At 3:30 yesterday, mom still hadn't had the "Friday chemo". But maybe being so late - she would be tired and sleep some last night.

The doctor was very pleased by mom's progress this past week all her blood counts kept rising! It sounds like yesterday may be the last Friday treatment for this "round"! She'll continue the 12 day treatment for the remainder of time (so that should end next weekend). The one down side is mom isn't eating much. Mostly because of the stomach virus she had over the last few days - so they said they may give her some food/nutrients in the IV. Not sure how she feels about it - but dad and I were talking yesterday and thought it may be a good idea. This way she won't feel bad if she can't eat anything, but can still try. And she'll automatically be getting some nutrition to help build up her strength. She already has the IV ports - may as well just hang another bag up there. Getting her strength back now is very important.

The doctor also told dad as of yesterday (things may change - but that is ok) that he felt she needed some time off before the 5 day intensive treatment. So maybe 2-3 weeks (not sure when he starts counting those weeks - but that is ok). And he may do a bone marrow test before the 5 day treatment to see how well it has been working. They all feel that from mom's evaluations to date that it appears to be working and they probably want to know how well.

We know its the weekend, so her counts will go down - but since they were so high they may not get as low as they have been. And they will again rebound more quickly with all the new treatments continuing. So its exciting. Still can't give a day when she'll be home - but soon is expected. At best guess before the end of the month! So my hope - she's feeling well to come to the ultrasound (to be scheduled) at the end of the month. Get her first glimpse of her little Peanut as she had been calling the baby.

Baby side note - actually SAW it move last night! That was pretty darn cool! Its very faint - but saw it with my own eyes - rolling around on my belly.