Happy 1st Birthday

Yes - today our new son turns 1!  I'm so happy he was able to be home in time.  but it is a bitter sweet day.  I just can't help but think of his birth mother and what she sacrificed for the love of this little boy?  What she did - I can't even begin to imagine in May 2011!  She loved her son so much - that she did what she felt was best for him!  But I have to wonder - where is she today?  is she thinking of her little guy?  I know they are on a different calender - heck even a different year right now - what is it 2006 now?  Anyhow - they don't really celebrate birthdays  - but still.  I just will always be thankful to this woman and her family - where ever they are - with the help of our God - he brought our families together by this little boy and our lives are connected even if we will never meet!  I am thankful for them - our family is complete.  It was perfect before and it is just finally a Family of 4!  A Table for 4!  I love it.

Yesterday we celebrated with papa, grandma Mary, Uncle Marcus and Aunt Stacey!  It was a great day!  Curt was not sure about his cake at first - but then was like - OH YEAH - this is yummy!  He was so sweet.  Even got into opening presents - with the help of his big brother Nate!  On top of the Easter festivities - he had fun!  Its funny how the packaging or paper is sometimes more exciting.  I'll work to post pictures later.

But today - I love my family and my two sons so much!  I can't wait to celebrate with all of them  - as we request the table for 4 tonight!
Gail

Day to day life

Well we have been home just over 2 weeks now and also about to turn 1 next week!  LOTS going on in Curt's life. We do believe he's struggling with sleep at night as his mind processes the grief and loss of his life at Engida!  He was so well loved and cared for - it must be hard.  Don't get me wrong, he's a happy child - but I just feel and others have confirmed that this is common.  At his age he can't process things or verbalize it - so it comes out in his dreams. So we have had some rough nights.  I did start listening to all the advice - SLEEP during the day when he does - do NOT worry about the house or other things. so today we both snuggled on the couch for a good old fashion nap!  I loved it - I  miss those days with Nate!  He would sleep with us on the couch.

We will get there though - I'm getting LOTS of advice and recommendations.  So we'll see. I just have to continue to tell people it isn't always the same as just any child - this is my son and he lived in an orphanage since he was about 1 month old!  Since 3 months he was at only one  - Engida Addis Ababa and that is all he probably knows! so the grief at night is common and natural!  We'll get there.

Well I'm in the last two weeks of my time off - its hard to imagine going back to work, but I also love my job too!  Last week we found a wonderful home daycare that we will be using in Ferndale!  Not right off Woodward on my way home to get Nate - but not too far out of the way!  I really like it - one they just seem nice and clean - but the kids were so happy there.  But also that it came recommended by a friend. So that's good.

I hope to continue to post on here - I know we will have lots of things in life and I find all the blogs so helpful!

Anyhow - right now we are thankful we have NOT had any really rude comments.  One off the wall - "good luck YOU NEED IT" comment.  But then mostly looks.  OR better yet - the avoidance of a look from people that you think are n"friends".  I had that recently where I didn't expect it - but Craig and I said - oh well. They really weren't our "friends"  or definitely not a "GOOD" friend.  That our friends are not like that - and we are still happy.  And we'd rather just  not have the horrible comments.

Its interesting to see the older generation watching us when we're out - but then some of the ladies - well they all melt with one look at the smiles!

We truly are blessed.

Tomorrow my dear friend Shannon and family are finally flying to Ethiopia and will go meet their son in a few days!  I am so happy.  Please keep Shannon and her family in your prayers.
Thanks
Gail

Prayers for a sick little boy needed

Below is a post from Gabe's mom - you can see the link above.  they are struggling - Gabe is almost 5 and very smart - he probably realizes this is NOT how he's supposed to feel.  Please continue to keep him and the family in your prayers and thoughts
Gail

He's admitted - Cincinnati

Hi everyone!  

I wanted to share a quick update.  As I’m sure many of you have heard, we are concerned about a particular condition and concerned about Gabriel period right now.  We are headed to Cincinnati, Ohio a week from tomorrow to meet with a world known expert in immunology/blood disease and the leading expert in the particular disease we are worried about.  It sounds like they will be drawing substantial blood at our visit and will follow-up with a phone consult.  I really am unsure about what she is going to say and whether or not she is going to know what is wrong with Gabe.   

He’s been suffering a lot lately.  He’s had many bad headaches, lack of appetite and the loss of two pounds, low energy and irritability.  He presented last night with all these symptoms including a high fever.  The reason for the fever is unknown which is usually the case.   He was admitted at Beaumont around 11:00 last night. 

In addition to him not feeling good, he’s been going through some emotional stuff and I am worried about his spirit.  He cries a lot in the middle of the night and cries himself to sleep a lot.  Last night he was admitted while sleeping and awoken to a needle.  I have never wanted this to come to a resolution more in four years than I do right now.  I really want him to have a break. 

We are hanging in there the best we can and just getting by one day at a time.  We are feeling very loved and supported so thank you for that!

We are tossing the idea around of trying an immune system suppressant infusion drug just to see if it helps him feel better and not knowing if it will.  We may do this in the morning.

I will update later.

Rebekah 

Good posts about Race and educating others about adoption

All
There are a lot of good posts on the post - http://casselljourneytoafrica.blogspot.com/ - check it out.  I've asked and was told I could link to it here - I just know it is so well written that I couldn't write it that well myself.

Enjoy -
Gail

Adjusting to life in the USA

We have been home just under a week now and I have to say Curt is really adjusting well to life as a Backus in the good old USA!  He's been attaching to the 3 of us and even spent some time with Papa and Grandma Mary!  We're getting into a schedule of naps and sleeping.  We are now sleeping through the night and working on eating more foods.  I've decided to do a fast track on different foods so that he can learn to eat a lot of things.  We're currently on beans and peas and carrots!  A few other things are going as well.  He's eating some solid finger foods as well!  I'm sure in the coming weeks we'll have transitioned over to lots of finger foods - which should be entertaining for pictures.

Speaking of pictures - I haven't posted any here yet - but you can see a lot on my facebook page - I'll try and post some here later today.

Nate is really doing good as well - he's NOT liking questions by a lot of people  but if you him alone with his brother, he's just so good with him!  He's helping, he wants to push him around in the stroller and play with him.  Its great!

I have to say our family is pretty darn good!  We are COMPLETE!

Gail

Adjusting to life in the USA

We have been home just under a week now and I have to say Curt is really adjusting well to life as a Backus in the good old USA!  He's been attaching to the 3 of us and even spent some time with Papa and Grandma Mary!  We're getting into a schedule of naps and sleeping.  We are now sleeping through the night and working on eating more foods.  I've decided to do a fast track on different foods so that he can learn to eat a lot of things.  We're currently on beans and peas and carrots!  A few other things are going as well.  He's eating some solid finger foods as well!  I'm sure in the coming weeks we'll have transitioned over to lots of finger foods - which should be entertaining for pictures.

Speaking of pictures - I haven't posted any here yet - but you can see a lot on my facebook page - I'll try and post some here later today.

Nate is really doing good as well - he's NOT liking questions by a lot of people  but if you him alone with his brother, he's just so good with him!  He's helping, he wants to push him around in the stroller and play with him.  Its great!

I have to say our family is pretty darn good!  We are COMPLETE!

Gail

URGENT - Gabe needs prayers

All
Little Gabe is sick again!  This Fever stuff are coming back and may be related to a finding from his bone marrow biopsy a few weeks ago.  I know from Facebook that Rebekah has traveled with Gabe to see more specialists.  Below is her post from Caring Bridge a few days ago.  It sounds very serious and they need more prayers!  I can't explain what's going on very well - so please read the post below - Emergency! Gabe.

Thanks all - Gail

Emergency! Gabe

This post is one of the most serious posts I’ve ever written…  I have been chewing on what I’m about to share for about a week now.  The bone marrow biopsy revealed some “blood eating cells” that also destroy vital organs.  When the disease is in a progressed state, the prognosis is poor.  If the disease isn’t in a progressive state, the prognosis still isn’t great. 

I am in the process of making arrangements to take Gabriel to see a HLH “expert” at the Children’s Hospital in Cincinnati.  She will either rule out or confirm this diagnosis.  If the disease is confirmed, aggressive chemotherapy and/or steroids will be administered immediately.  A bone marrow transplant could follow. 

One of the clinical features of this disease is persistent fever which you all know has been one of our biggest mysteries.  It’s only been 3 weeks since our last fever and I’m sad to share that he woke up today with another fever. 

I’m packing our bags and going to the hospital for evaluation.  My guess is he will be admitted again.   

I am asking for you to pray like you never have before for the doctors and our family.  We are in crisis.

Rebekah

Changing Names and Attaching

Quick post for people we see in the coming weeks - please understand that we are working really hard to bond with Curt.  So we will be holding him close and trying to keep him with us until we really get a good attachment. So please do not be insulted or hurt when we ask that he not be held by others right now.  He really just needs to get close to us.  You can touch him, hug him, play with him - and he will LOVE IT - and give that classic smile and some noises I'm sure

Also - we are working hard to change Curt's name To Curt!  He's been Sami for a long time, so to do this - we use both names for a few days or weeks.  Right now we are going with Sami Curt on everything so that he gets to know Curt when we call him.  Shortly we will drop the Curt from his name.  So please join us in helping with this  - we'd really appreciate it.
Thanks all for the understanding!  You will be able to get your hands on him REALLY soon!  I promise -
Love
Gail

Home!

We are finally home!  After a few days of travel - restless sleep on the airplanes, we are home!

Before that - just a few updates -

So we had a wonderful time Wednesday night at Alemu's home.  A coffee ceremony, traditional food - which for Nate included french fries.

Thursday was a crazy day - the hotel and MUCH of the city lost water. Unfortunately the guest house didn't let us know till about 5:30  - would have been better to just let us know so that we would understand.  And our TV lost signal again - but they finally fixed it.

So we had a taxi driver - a really great guy - when I unpack I'll post his name and info for anyone traveling.  He works close with many agencies and hotels taking people places.  He was so helpful!  I can't even thank this man enough.  I wanted to take Nate and go to ONE store to pick up a few more souvenirs!  Maybe two - but this driver took us to a new section of the shopping area near the post office - so I got to find everything in ONE store.  Then we wanted to convert our extra birr back to US $.  the airport said if we do this, we had to have a receipt and go to a bank in town!  Well guess what - they forgot to tell us we needed an airplane ticket - which we really couldn't get - had to check in at the counter!  UGH - so that was annoying - oh and we had to wait OVER AN HOUR - but the driver was great - he talked so I could see what they were saying.  And kept the mob away - there wasn't really any line!  Ha.

but the interesting part - we met this nice young man from NY City that is Kenyan - and he was just there traveling Ethiopia!  What an amazing young man.

So then the issues at the hotel - they forgot to arrange a driver to take us to the airport!  i had asked for that in the morning and I guess the two shifts forgot to mention it - ends up the owner drove us in her own car and wouldn't take money!  She had given us Thursday (half day) free because she felt bad about everything else.  This time, we were early and check in was so easy!  Some guy helped with all the luggage ALL THE Way to check in!  Yeah - we even picked up a few more things while waiting.  Ran into a few people there coming home as well.

Now to the 17 hour plane ride home. We took Ethiopian Air and I really liked them.  Lufthansa is Great too!  Both have pro's and con's in different ways - but highly recommend either to people traveling.  Leaving at 10:30 pm was good.  Both boys slept.  Forced Nate to sleep at midnight to just shut his eyes.  And he was out in minutes - and slept for about 7 or 8 hours!  Curt got some sleep too.  We were lucky to have the bulkhead and get the bassinet for Curt!  NICE to have him sleep there for a bit and to even sit and play there!  He liked it!  Anyhow - this flight stopped in Rome for a crew change and refueling for an hour! Between all that and being so late - we all slept good and it made the first 6 hours go by fast.  I know it was long - but in my mind with us sleeping it wasn't too bad.

However, they didn't really serve enough water or have it available like the flight over so we can get drinks on our own.  So Craig and I were VERY dehydrated when we landed in DC.  I was dizzy and he had horrible head aches!  Curt was starving and melting down!  We finally got through immigration and Curt is officially a US Citizen!!!!!  Yes - important part - yeah!  We'll get the final paper work in the next few weeks - but yeah!  Anyhow - we got him fed and he was so happy.  He was crawling ALL over the floor at the gate - normally probably wouldn't allow that - but man - he sure needed to just get out and move.  And it was nice for him to just get around without clinging to me and Craig - he's feeling more comfortable and knowing we will still be there.

arriving in Detroit was a little surprise - I knew my sister in law Stacey was picking us up and figured my brother would come too - but my dad and his wife were there too - all with signs and little things for both boys!  That was nice.  Curt did pretty well, a few tears and trying to get back to Craig and I - ha!  But they understood that.  It was just nice to be see family and have a welcoming crew!  And to just get home!

We stayed up as late as possible but our bodies were 7 hours ahead - Craig fell asleep around 5 or a little after.  Nate and I ordered Pizza (even though we had some nice food for us - we will be using that today - thanks for family and friends).  AT 7 Nate said he was taking a nap - we told him to just go to bed. Curt went down shortly after that.  And Craig and I were both asleep shortly after that.  Curt got up a few times, tried to sleep with us for a bit - and we ended up on the couch sleeping.  Craig and Nate were up at like 4:50 this morning - and I got a bit more sleep!

Now - Craig's off to the store, Nate and I are hanging out and Curt is sleeping!  yeah - we will get on a schedule and slowly getting all the advice from people with kids from Engida Orphanage as well!  So that will really help  with the adjustment.

ok in the car seat!  yeah.

Hopefully we'll get into a good schedule shortly. I hear its not too bad.  And the attaching is starting - which is good!  Yeah!  So all that we see over the next few weeks - please understand.

Thanks
Gail

USA or Bust

Yes - this day seemed like it took forever -but it is finally here -we are packed, fed and ready to check out and get a ride to the airport - ONE BAG less, but ONE kid more!  Ha. 

Today was long - we had a great time last night with traditional Ethiopian Fasting Meal during lent and a coffee ceremony at the AAI local head guy  - Alemu's home.  He's such a wonderful man.  We all had to dress in traditional wear he supplied - yes we will post pictures one day!  Soon we hope when we have our OWN computers.

Then today Nate and I went to ONE store to get the last few things we wanted to buy, and then tried to go to the bank to convert our Birr back to US $ - what a mess.  Waited over an hour only to be told NOPE without a paper ticket - you can't do it!  Seriously!  but sounds like the hotel will allow us to pay with that - so that will be nice. 

Then the hotel lost all water - but didn't tell us till JUST NOW - that the whole area is out of water.  Its NOT like Detroit or most of the mid-west where you have lots of water on demand.  Each home has a tank of water - and they all ran out!  How horrible.  Wish they had informed us - it would have been easier to understand.  but I did get a hot shower.  But was very crabby - and then the TV went out again!  It was just rough NOT having a suite like everyone else - just ONE little room.  UGH.  so at 6 am today Curt and I were in the lobby in our PJ's.

He really slept good last night - we are hoping for good things tonight!  We'll see

17 hours on a jet plane - should be interesting. 

Looking forward to seeing some family at the airport tomorrow to welcome Curt home!  So thankful for the family we do have!  Marcus and Stacey - you two are amazing.  Thanks!  And my friends that have helped this week - yeah!  You are great too!

Ok - best run -
Love you all
Gail

Another level of OFFICIAL

Well it turns out there are so many levels to make this adoption official.  First you CLEAR the US Embassy and USCIS - but then you have to go for an "interview" - basically they asked if we did this and that - and NOTHING else.  I could barely here through the thick glass walls - but he said ok - you are done.  We will get his visa on Thursday and this envelope everyone gets we can not open till we get to customs and immigrations  - for us  Washington DC as we land there first.  I think then he's officially declared a US citizen - other paper work will arrive in a few weeks.  So Official today - official on Friday morning - you name it.

So today has been Great - Curt has taken some naps, eating well, and so interested in his big brother!  And attaching to Mommy and Daddy!  We are loving it - we only went to embassy today and chilling out.  Curt and other kids still were getting night time bottles - so at 2 am he woke up - and then wanted to be snuggled and would NOT lay down in the crib - so after about 90-120 minutes I rocked him and finally laid down while rocking and he slept with us.  Then i could not sleep - I now have THREE men in the that snore and do some weird noises when they sleep - and laugh too!  Both boys were giggling in their sleep!  its funny -but I need my white noise machine.  The rooster decided to start crowing at 2ish as well  - then some church has a guy singing or chanting VERY loudly around 5 am!  Its not too bad -but annoying when you need white noise to sleep.

kicking myself for not bringing the portable DVD player - but again its probably good or it would get fried.  This hotel's electricity or voltage is not perfect for the converters - we are not the only ones having issues - oh well!  Better the chargers and cords over the equipment!  We will survive.  Using the hotel computers for all our stuff.

Tomorrow Nate and I are getting a driver - going to visit a church, maybe a little more shopping.  Today Craig did get his coffee - but I think he needs more - especially if we learn we can freeze it?  not sure  - we'll see. 

Allergies are really kicking in for Nate and I - I have cough meds but NO allergy stuff - just benedryl and that puts him asleep - so we'll see if we can find a pharmacy tomorrow too.

Thursday we are hanging here - we fly out at night - 17 hours - and met a couple on our flight - so that is good.

Also making a new family friend from Alabama here - they are sweet.  their daughter is 7 like Nate and the new little girl is just a few months older than Curt. 

Ok - Yeka Guest house/hotel is great!  I would recommend this to anyone.  The outside area is so nice - I love the greenery.  And the staff - ready to do anything for you - and love the kids.  Trying to interact with all of them!  Its fun - Nate is the only boy sibling here - so they are talking to him.

Ok - should go - wanted to update you all.
Love
Gail

Gotcha Day and Birthdays

Wow - what a CRAZY day.  Wake up as a 42 year old in Addis, Ababa, Ethiopia - to a rooster and some dude singing at a local church at 5:30 am!  UGH - so all you back in the states that was 10:30 at night there.  But we did sleep good.

Today we went to the National Ethiopian Museum - this is where Lucy is!  She is the oldest skeleton in the world!  MILLIONS of years old.  And come to find out - she looked half like us today and half ape!  Really - and then we saw the skull of a baby that's even older than Lucy!  Pretty cool.

Then I took Nate and Craig shopping - they survived.  I think it was better  - I had warned them what to expect - honestly not too many people out.  But I think we did good.  I gave away a lot of things I bought was gifts last time - so this time was for us.

So at about 2 pm today - GOTCHA day a day that will forever go in the Backus books we took custody of Curt.  He did ok, and was amazed as we drove around.  Then fell asleep - and was woken from a sound sleep at the Yeka Lodge when we got back and realized - WHOA these are the ladies that have loved and took care of me for the last 9 months of my life - since I was 2 months old!  He's doing well - really intrigued by his big brother.  crying a little bit, been fed and now we think just so tired. 

We're trying to get the Internet when we can - definitely NO wifi that they said they had - so ONE computer in the lobby everyone triest to use.  It alright.  Our laptop charger is having issues - when here last time it got fried and didn't work - better it then the laptop!  So its having issues.  We found ONE plug that was working -

Anyhow Yeka is a great hotel - so many families here from Holland and Denmark with there kids and a family we met from Alabama.  They are all here a lot longer than  us.  But it is cool - you eat together,  hang out in the outside area - its pretty  nice.  We enjoyed meeting people at dinner last night. 

Right now we are hanging in this little room - Curt, daddy and I - Nate wanted to watch TV and they have the one Boomerang channel - all cartoons - so him and the other older siblings are loving that.

I know we will be good - no tears in a while.  But just love how he has attached - i didn't mention how the one lady that was so happy but sad to see him leave - she followed our van waving.  She was crying, I was crying - just to know he was so loved by them all!  I took her pictures of the two of them.  And i so hope she enjoys it!  I know she will. 

Now Craig and Curt are playing on the computer next to me - it does NOT get Internet - ha.

Tomorrow is Embassy we probably won't do much - chill out in the morning and then go there.  We still need to buy coffee - we'll adventure out later in the week!

Thanks for following us.

I know tomorrow is a new day - we keep trying to tell Nate - its like someone just taking him away from us, moving him here and NO ONE speaking English!  YEAH - the smiles are showing up!  we love those smiles.  Anyhow - for Curt - he's never been out of the orphanage - never really seen trees and definitely not grass until today.  he's seeing the world e - and right now trying to eat the mouse - ha!  Its all good.  He's so beautiful.  And we got to keep his outfit -

OH yeah - he's wearing 18 months - a little big - so hopefully we have those.  I think the 12 months will fit - we shall see. 

That's it till tomorrow.
We'll try and post every day.

Love you all that follow - and thanks for the prayers
Gail, Craig, Nate and Sami Curt for a few more days.

GOT it

Ok - got in via blogger itself - so hopefully this will work on other days.

Exhausted now - but have dinner at 7 at the hotel - should be interesting NOT hungry at all! 

But I hear the food is better - free bottled water and coffee all the time  Craig is happy.

We arrived - take 2

Well accessing the internet from the Yeka Guest house is VERY difficult - the TV sometimes works  - but they actually have a good selection of English stations.  In the main hotel room or gathering room they have Boomerang for the kids.  Amazing how many families here are adopting!  Just a lot of families hanging out.  We lucked out and are down on the first floor - where we have a small room that looks out over the garden and can walk right outside.  It will sure be nice with Curt with us starting tomorrow afternoon.  It will be nice.  There is a little merry-go-round for the kids, some toy bowling things and just beautiful gardens.

The rooms not as nice as the Sadula Lodge - but the outside area is awesome.

The airport journey was a LOT easier today - we had one person in line to pay for Visas!  Got in and out!  found the driver - expecting a van with 4 large pieces of luggage, a small suitcase and 5 bags!  Ha -and he had this little tiny Toyota!  I do plan on packing one of the duffel bags on the way back - but it will be interesting.


So today - I awoke on the plane to see the best sunrise EVER - so early the horizon was just turning purple - and over the Sahara - it was perfect!  Our flight was a little longer than expected - we were booked for 12 hours - and it was more like 13.5!  Oh well - we survived.  Guess what on the way back - its 17  hours ! Yikes - but we did get some sleep.  it was hard because it was 6 pm in MI and we were trying to sleep.  The way home we leave at night - so that should really help getting the kids to sleep.  I only watched ONE movie but found an audio book was interesting.  They even have games on the tv screen that Nate enjoyed playing.  He was amazing - didn't eat much - but did good.  Very glad that I had brought snacks and had some food from the hotel!  And today glad I packed some instant mac and cheese at the last minute!  That helped - not the best without a microwave, but good.

Our dear friend Alemu - the AAI head guy over here met us at 3 and took us to the Lion Zoo and then for a drive up Mt. Entoto and into the country side.  Craig and I had been on this drive but it was nice to show Nate.  Poor thing - so tired - he was not too interested.  WE even got pizza and its NOT like Hungry Howies, but good.  Just glad I had snacks.

Tomorrow - we will probably go to the National Museum where Lucy - the oldest skeleton remains is - not sure if she's on tour or not - but it will be nice.  I am hoping to do a little shopping too - but we'll see.  The option was to drop me off by myself - not sure I'm ready for that right now.  So we'll figure it out.  I know what I want and last time only went to a few stores - so its not a big deal. 

After lunch tomorrow - we take custody of Sami - aka Curt!  Can't wait!  Should be a LOT of fun. 

Anyhow - hope everyone is doing well.  We'll try and post when we can - hopefully tomorrow we can get something to enhance the internet connection.

Gail

wow - a few more days

Wow - can NOT believe after all this blogging - we will have our son in our arms FOREVER next Monday!  And to top it off - its my birthday - what an awesome gift!  All my boys together with me on the same day!  I love them so much!  All of them.

I'm excited for Nate to go and experience Africa - and he will someday be able to share with his little brother what it was like.  We will have some great family memories - even getting a chance to see the Lion Zoo!  I'm just so excited!  It will all be perfect.

yesterday we were able to get the nursery decorated - a little ways to go - but man I'll take it!  My friend Paula was amazing to come help me!  Thanks a ton my dear friend!

So yes - I"m emotional this week for many obvious reasons - and just so happy we will soon be a family of 4!  My childhood dreams are coming true - even the imaginary white picket fence is there.

So thanks everyone - you shall also get updates while we are gone.  We are staying at a new location that has some outdoor space - so that will be good.  we will NOT be in walking distance to Yummy Pizza - which is a bummer, but the outdoor space will be so nice for all of us to just get out for a little bit!  have some fresh air!

In the mean time - my new job is still amazing and I'm just happy as a clam there. I feel bad leaving for a few weeks, but also know its where I"m supposed to be right now!  So its great.

Now we just go and enjoy our lives.

I've got a LOT of stuff to do this week -
Gail