Fight Leukemia - join MY personal cause

Seriously - if you want to read more about my mom's story - THIS blog is the place to do it - you can read my tears if you start back in 2004! I remember those last moments writing or begging for prayers to save my mom - that's not fun - but I have accepted it now and know she's in heaven - but those first few months - especially after having her first grandchild 17 days later -I was in a cloud - it hurts to remember those moments. But please - consider joining our team!  WE want walkers!

elcome to our Team's Homepage

Welcome to our Team's Homepage

Aug 15, 2011

Welcome to the homepage for Loretta's Love, my team for Light The Night Walk.

Light The Night Walk is The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's evening walk and fundraising event. It is the nation's night to pay tribute and bring hope to thousands of people battling blood cancers and to commemorate loved ones lost.

In 2004, my mom, Loretta, was diagnosed with ALL Leukemia on Mother's Day that year - one day before her 58th birthday. She had been in the hospital about a week while doctors tried to determine exactly "what she had". Unfortunately, she never left the hospital as she died there on June 22, 2004. She was and always will be the Light and Love of the Wilcox Family! Losing her has been the hardest thing I've ever had to face, but I know she's with us all the time. Only 17 days after her death, her first grandchild, our son Nate was born. I talk about her often with him, trying to explain how much she loved him before and still. She hand picked him up in heaven and held him in her arms before he was born. He thinks it's "neat" to know he is that special - and no matter what he always will be.

In 2008 we walked our first Light the Night and its a great organization. They were there for me as I did research trying to help mom fight this battle. Unfortunately the genetics on her side were too strong and the treatments just couldn't win. But we know we can help others prevent going through a similar loss. Please support the cause and help us raise money to fight cancer and WIN!.

For more than 60 years, The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (LLS) has been solely focused on people with blood cancers. Presently, we have more than $250 million committed to research across the United States and in ten other countries. Every dollar is provided by concerned donors. We invest in the best, outcome based science:

• Anywhere, with no geographic or institutional boundaries
• Without profit incentive
• To meet unmet Medicare needs of people with blood cancers

And LLS funded advances are helping patients beyond those for whom they were originally developed, including people with solid tumors and auto-immune diseases. In the past decade, nearly 50% (19 put of 39) of the cancer drugs approved by the FDA were approved as treatments for blood cancer patients. Twelve are already approved for people beyond those for whom they were first developed. With your help, we are saving lives.

• A donation of $25 provides patients and their loved ones with FREE booklets that contain up-to-date information on their disease and help them make informed decisions about their treatment options.
• A donation of $50 makes possible a Family Support group with a trained facilitator where comfort can be found and experiences can be shared among patients and family members.
• A donation of $100 helps supply laboratory researchers with supplies and materials critical to carrying out their search for cures.
• A donation of $1,000 makes possible one- on-one conversations with health care specialists who provide patients with information about their disease, treatment options, and helps prepare them with questions for their health care team.

Please join our team's effort today by registering to walk or by making a donation. Your participation in the Light The Night Walk will help save lives. Be sure to check our team Web site frequently to see our progress, and thanks for your support!

thankful for other adoptive families

I was just posting on FB tonight that I'm falling for S - well then i get to the yahoo email - this is where I check the yahoo groups - and another mom - who I didn't realizes child is in the same orphanage -s he had sent me 3 pics of S!  He is so beautiful - its just so funny how different they look when other parents take the pictures.  I decided today that the first pics we see are the "adoption mug shots" - they are adorable but just not as cute.
So seeing him smile - its melting my heart!

I pray it works.  I saw tonight court dates in late October and early November are being assigned - it is possible we travel later this week - so we'll see.  Not sure if trip #1 will be this year or not - but definitely won't be bringing him home till 2012.

Its hard to not get attached - Craig is very nervous this will fall away just like K's referral did - I pray it doesn't - I have to hold on to something.

so we'll see.
continue to pray for all the kids in limbo, suffering in this horrible drought and famine - they need prayers more than we do!

thanks
Gail

Will this time work? -yes a new referral

Ok - we accepted another referral last night - for a beautiful little boy "S" that is about 4 months old.  Was so hoping to help pick his birthday as my  mom's in May - but it wouldn't work out - so we ended up going with a day in April - not totally random, but no real significance.

So we are excited - but VERY cautious as well - cautious as to what will happen?  Will this beautiful guy be taken away?  Who will care for K?  But that wasn't moving.  This little buy seems very healthy and is adorable.  Only 1 pic of him - but regardless until he's legally ours those can't be shared anyhow.  He's at Endigma - Oh can't spell it - or was from there?  I've heard good things.

Its just funny as I really told God Wednesday night that I BELIEVE our son will come to us soon!  And as I was traveling for work - I was actually driving back to the airport as my phone rang and I couldn't answer it.  I had read something that unless you have hands free - do not use your phone.  I was afraid.  I KNEW it was Sally - but then as I got to the rental car return I saw she called my work cell too!  But no messages.  I was going CRAZY - I decided to wait till I got to the airport, checked my bag and through security to just relax and not worry about time.  And I had enough - so it was a good call!

We don't really know the time line yet - our paperwork is still in court for K - so we are hoping they  can just "switch" things out and we keep in the court system - but not sure.   And don't know when we'll know.  The courts are closed for rainy season - so not sure if we will find out till October anyhow.  But hopefully we can keep our paper work there and just change out the boys.  Just very exciting.  We will see how it works out -

Please continue to pray for God's Will and that we bring home the son he's already picked out for us.  And pray for my patience to and beliefe and faith to continue!

Thanks everyone -
Gail

Keeping the Faith

Today I was reading another blog - and its posts from other agencies stated that what happened to us has possibly happened to other families.  It is so sad - but their agency was told the kids already referred and paper work submitted to courts will be evaluated - but still probably go through!  That is very positive news.  I'm hoping it is true - I keep picturing little K's face in my mind and just pray that God's wisdom guides us through this journey.  Its not easy for me - waiting and not knowing - I'm one for surprises- never have been  but not much I can do about this one.  I know we will have another son and really like the name Curtis for our boy.  So we'll see.  I just want to see his face - and last night I dreamed that was K! So then reading this other blog today - it sounded promising.

I know when I've talked to our agency - they've been positive - they don't know what's going to happen - and I really appreciate their honesty.  I swear I can hear the sadness in their voices - maybe not sadness but they feel the pain for every family and child.

so I just keep the faith!  It seems like lots of devotionals I've read this week seemed to teach me to just keep the faith and trust in God's plans.  He knows what's going to happen - we do not.  In one devotional it said that sometimes we force things to work out the way we want and its not going to work or it will be hard - that is because that's not the way God wanted it to be!  And if we just sit back, enjoy the ride (emotional or not) and follow God's path - trust him - things work out.  so I'm doing that.  I keep thinking of the saying and I may not get it totally accurate -

"If you love something set it free.  If its meant to be, it will come back to you" - that's my motto at the moment.  at least for the last few days. I love little K with all my heart, I can SEE him in our family!  I can see him being called Curt - I want to go hold him, make him smile, listen to him laugh - all of that!  so I'm trusting God knows what is best for our family.

I pray for all the families being touched by these orphanage shut downs right now - its very difficult for us all.  IF you are one of them -feel free to reach out - its helped talking to another family that's going through this with us.

For everyone else - please pray for the children stuck in this mess.  I just keep thinking  - we have shelter, clothes, FOOD and WATER!  they may not have all that.  with the drought and famine in the Horn of Africa - many people are suffering every second of every day.  Many are dying - kids, babies and adults.  But the number of kids lost in this UNDER the age of 5 breaks my heart.  Anyone that ever questions WHY did we pick Africa - Ethiopia to adopt from - well that's ONE reason of many!  God led us here - He knows these kids suffer and their parents love them so much, they will do what ever it takes to make sure their kids are fed and have water and survive.  I want to do those parents honor by protecting their blessed child as our own!  Its just one reason - no one can replace the love of the parents in Ethiopia - but we can give just as much love and caring for a child - they will be my son for ever and ever.  I will love him to heaven and back - 999,999,999,999,999... times - Nate and I make up the biggest number we can think of - THAT many times to heaven and back!  Basically infinity - but he couldn't grasp that number.

so all this said- keep the faith!  that's one constant we do have. God loves us and these kids - he will take care of us.  Do not let the little negatives get us down - I believe that's the devil trying to crack me sometimes.  I'm NOT going to let him win!  I have my down days - trust me - some of you follow this and we email personally - YOU KNOW I have had my low moments the last few weeks!  VERY LOW - but I'm determined to KEEP THE FAITH.

thanks for listening and reading my babble for the day!
God bless you all
Gail

#1 - Again

Yep - we are officially #1 on the wait list - AGAIN - but this time I believe IS the time for our child's referral to truly be ours.  I can't wait to see his beautiful face and learn all about him.

Its still possible - HE may end up being our little K - but its possible its not.  we have chosen to let this be in God's hands!  If K is meant to be ours - he will come to us - if not he's meant for another family  - and possibly his birth family - we just don't know.

Its SO hard as we fall in love with these kids - but we just don't know what God's plan is - we have to trust, take the leap of faith and just go with it all.  The agency is working on a few referrals for some infant boys - so one of them may be our son.  They don't have it all ready - so it may be a while.AND it may be long enough for K to come back?

so keep us in your prayers.

and today - today is a special day - its the 13th "meet"-aversary the day Craig and I met for the 1st time 13 years ago - a "blind date" for lunch after church. we had lunch and then saw the movie - The Negotiator!  Funny how "the Riverplace" radio stations - the River Meeting place - phone hook up system - matched us up - thankful for that system - was worth the few extra phone charges!  Ha.

And now we are awaiting our 2nd child -

Everyone also n- please continue to pray for all the kids and and people in the Horn of Africa that are starving, looking for water and food - its just scary times right now

God Bless
Gail

Fresh Air Children - they need your assistance

The Fresh Air Fund has been able to find 650 of the 850 host families we need. Right now there is just one week left for us to place the remaining 200 children with a loving host family for a Fresh Air experience that can change lives. Please consider it and pass it along on your own Facebook pages, or Twitter to help spread the word and connect with someone who can open their home to a child this summer.

Our agency

Our agency is just really awesome - to actually respond to things on a weekend and help us out through all the craziness - NOT many if any would do that.

I'm very thankful for the staff and their experience and just them overall.

HOpe everyone is survivng the heat and humidity - but while we have fans and AC units - think and pray for all the kids being moved around by the orphanage closures - being moved south where there is a drought and help take care of them.

enjoy a blessed Saturday
Gail

anonymous commenter

to the anonymous commenter - I"d love to talk to you privately - please email me at gmbackus@hotmail.com  I'd like to find out where you got your info and have more info myself before I contact the agency.

but it is bothersome.
gail

Ugh- not good

Ok- just read another blog - so to have court you must have a letter from the government agency - if its not there, the judge still sees you and you pass after you get home when the letter is there  Well it sounds like the government has changed this!  So this family flew all the way there - and were told the letter wasn't there - and they would not be seen!  they do not know if this will get there before they leave - they may have to stay longer OR go back - it could take months!

Just crazy - no notice - just decided to make this family the first for this.

NOT good at all - I'm so confused

More confusion with closures

Ok- I found this new blog - http://etorphanage.blogspot.com/ - it lists a lot of the agencies communications - pretty scary - sounds like even MORE closures.

anyhow we were told today that all the kids from closed orphanages are going into a temporary place and then ALL will be returned to their families!  If the families do not want them, then they go back to an orphanage and will be back in the adoption process.  So they could become available?  Not sure - it could start in a month - not sure if that means we will know in a month or they start moving them in a month - I have a feeling it will be MONTHS.

no one has asked us out right - what do we want to do right now- I'm torn - Craig had originally gone one way and now another.  I go back and forth - both of us agree - having a legal and ethical adoption is priority #1 - I do not want any questions in our minds that this little boy wasn't still wanted or able to be cared for by his family.

So we will see - I'm gonna just pray - please pray for guidance on all this for us as well.

Most of all - please continue to pray for ALL the kids - I am imagining LOTS of kids- this is a mess - and so many closures - it seems like in my personal opinion that maybe they are doing this to "take a stance" and "whip" places into shape - and I respect that - sometimes a drastic move is required to get the action needed for the outcome that is desired.  And I highly respect that the country is doing things so that its in the kids best interests.

I do worry about the moving the kids back and forth and taking them from caretakers and "homes" they've only known - so we will see

anyhow - pray for the kids
thanks
Gail

Referral and K updates -he'd be 11 months today

Well the other family and I heard from the agency today - they have sent an agency rep that is in country (any agency must have offices and staff in ET - so that's great in my mind) - anyhow one of the employees (one of the ones we always hear bout - think this person is the head one) - went to the southern region with another family today - and went to the government offices to fight for our boys - to see what can happen to return the referral  back on I guess.  No word on the outcome - but it sounds like this is the ONLY 3 cases and the only agency that had referrals that were already in the court systems cancelled or voided.

so please continue to pray -

I also have made contact with another family that used to live really close to where we live - and only a few miles away!  They just brought their son home in the last few weeks - amazing!  Hope to get to know them -

anyhow - its been a week of just lots of bad news for this family - we need prayers for strength and continued faith!  For us to just trust God and know our child is out there and that K and all the other kids are taken care of

Today K would be 11 months - granted we picked his birthday- but 11 months old.  Happy birthday my dear boy - whether I end up being your mommy for ever or not - I love you no matter what  you are a beautiful baby and will always have a part of my heart!

Love wanna be mommy

New term - adoption miscarriage

All
thank you for the prayers, thoughts, you name it - I can't express how much it helps.  As two friends have told me today - this is a lot like a miscarriage - I've decided its an adoption miscarriage - just crazy.  I am mourning a child I"ve never met - but so in love with.

anyhow - below is a post from our agency today - they explain it better than I ever could -
Gail

Dear Families~

We have been informed that the government in Southern Ethiopia shut down 15 orphanages in the Awassa area in the last week. Obviously, many agencies, including us, have been affected by this. One of the orphanages is the Awassa location of EnatAlem. We have worked with this location for quite a while and have received many referrals from there. It is difficult to hear that they have been closed. Another orphanage that was shut down was EVADO. This is an orphanage we have also worked with for a long time, although, over the last 6 months or so, our trust level with the director has deteriorated significantly and we did not plan to continue working with this orphanage anyway. 

The effects of the closings are:
1- The children in these orphanages have been moved to a different orphanage. It is so difficult knowing that after they all have already had to make adjustments, at least one time, to the orphanage, they now need to make new adjustments to a new orphanage. We are unsure if these children will be adoptable and if so, how much time it will take to proceed with their adoptions. 

2-We have three families that accepted referrals in the last 3-4 weeks from Awassa EnatAlem. The government required these children be brought back to Awassa and, from the information we have now, they will not be able to proceed with the adoptions. This has been really difficult news for them to hear and, even more so, to understand. That being said, these families responded with graciousness.

3-We will not have a way to ensure that birth families will be able to access post adoption reports of children that have been adopted through these orphanages. The procedure is to send four reports to Ethiopia (for government, AAI-ET office, orphanage, & birth parent). When the reports arrive at our office in Ethiopia, one is submitted to the government office, one is filed, and the other two are sent to the orphanage. The birth parent then has the opportunity to come to the orphanage to get his/her copy of the report. If the orphanage is closed, we do not have a place to send them. In theory, birth parents could still obtain a report if they had a way to get to Addis to get one, however, it is not realistic to think they would have the means to do this. 

Right now we have very little facts and lots of questions about the "whys" and the "whats" of these shutdowns. We will continue to posts any new information we learn.

One question many of you might have is "What orphanages are we currently working with?" We continue to work with a good amount of orphanages and are excited this. I plan to post a list later today to inform you of the specific names & locations of our current orphanages. 

Please keep the children and families affected by these shutdowns in your thoughts and prayers. 

Thanks,

Loss of our referral - please pray

Hi all - well sad news today - the ET gov't is shutting down MORE orphanages  15 in the last few days.  Well one is from the south where our little guy was originally (he's not now - he's in Enet Alem in Addis Ababa). Anyhow - the original one is being shut down and the gov't wants him back!  He's being returned and his referral to us has basically been voided from what we were told today.

Honestly - I don't know that I heard everything - so Sally if you read this - sorry - just in shock and trying as hard as I could NOT to totally break down on the call - didn't succeed to well - but I tried.  The agency has never seen this before - but it seems like a lot of things have never been seen.

so as we stand now - we are BACK on the wait list - I keep hearing from LOTS Of others people that there "is possible hope' - but they went to court and the judge said no - so we'll see.

right now other families that got the same call today - we are trying to have people pray - pray long, hard - pray for our boys!  Pray for the kids - they are being torn from the caregivers they know and love - and being moved again!  Pray that they are taken care of - they are in a great place now - and its all the unknowns.  Or little guy will be 11 months old this week - so please pray he's taken care of.

Pray for strength for our family.

 anyhow - from what we can tell - they shut down the agencies due to corruption - either by the directors or in some cases the local government officials!  some of the rumors are they just want to make a big statement and shut a bunch down in the region!  so not really that they are all bad - and in lots of cases I've heard the orphanages were really nice places and took great care of the kids - so its one or two people that have set these kids back AGAIN!  Now I do want an ethical adoption - I agree that paying someone to take their child or stealing them is wrong - but in many cases - they are all on the up and up.  so just pray -

I guess I'll up date our ticker to reflect today's set back.

at least now our shots will all be effective if and when we get to travel - clearly not anytime soon!

anyhow - keep little K and the other kids in your prayers - 3 boys total from our agency - they need loving homes!

Thanks
Gail

useful info for all ET adoption and travel - another blog

Just a good blog I found - it looks like its pretty public - so hopefully they don't mind - if they do - sorry and let me know - but the buttons are available to share - so who knows.

but for those traveling - I glanced VERY Quickly at the travel list and other items for travel -
just looks like TONS of useful info.

Good luck

15 letters / day????

Well I don't know 100% sure yet - but I saw some yahoo group posts that it may be true - but again - NOT confirmed - but I hear that MOWA is now up to 15 letters/day!!!!  Yeah - moving on up - much better than the 5!  and maybe during shut down - they can get caught up!

still no word on any court dates - but people that got referrals in early June are getting calls this week - so we'll see.  Maybe we'll get a known date before closure - still assuming it will be AFTER rainy season closure - so we'll see.

anyhow - some random thoughts - blogs are pretty cool - its awesome to pose a question and have people help with answers - I love it!  so thanks for the responses last night on what to do for shots - found a clinic and the lady calling me was so nice!  She called me yesterday and was helpful  most were - but it was good.  all the prices are all over the board - but it seemed to work out almost even between the two places that take adults AND kids.  and we can do this without bringing Nate this Friday - yeah!

well at the moment I'm fighting a migraine - my vision is fuzzy - ha and I"m trying to type and can't see half of what I am typing - so hopefully its not too bad - I think its probably better than normal - go figure.

so just getting crazy nervous about everything - -
figured out finances officially today - took the leap - probably part of the migraine - but everything will work out - I have to have faith!

thanks for all the prayers and support.

have a good evening -
gail
PS  - I posted my immunization stuff on some yahoo group sand saw tongs of replies too - now I have to try and see to read them - ha