Forcing hope

Yep - just trying to FORCE HOPE into my mind and stay positive.  Friday I saw some posts on the yahoo groups - and man ok - some are so negative - I've changed my status on those.  Anyhow AAI warned us a week or so ago that some court dates may slow down.  There were some changes.  Well an article was published or something - I wish I had the strength and emotional state to go back and read or reference it - but honestly I can't. I'm trying not to get tears in my eyes and just can't do that right now.  Its too depressing.

Anyhow - MOWA or the courts in ET are slowing things down to 5 hearings a day.  I may be getting the details wrong - but they think this will reduce adoptions of children from ET by 90% - Wow- that's the hard part.  All these kids, homeless, orphans, living in places that can barely feed them.  NOT for trying, I believe most agencies do everything for the kids they can, they just don't have the finances or means - like many people there.

So it was hard.  Craig is awesome and helping me to stay focused.  Yesterday I attended our Bishop's day conference for church and it helped.  I prayed and continued more prayers in silent at church this morning.  Our agency, and luckily I saw more posts today from other agencies - they all feel that the court can do more, but MOWA is slowing things down.  NOT because they have to - yes they need to slow it down a little to really do more full inspections on the adoptions, but because they want to see if the gov't can give them more help.  If I remember correctly they only have a handful of employees.  I want to say under 10- more like 5-8 people.  I'm sure I'm wrong on these numbers - so no one quote me here - but I just remember that.  So I am clinging to this fact and glad that other agencies think this too.  A LOT are sending representatives there to have meetings with MOWA in the coming weeks.  These are the agencies that are good and ethical - they care about these children and want to help them.

So yeah - I'm clinging and forcing hope right now.  AT the Bishop's day, this church Hope UMC had a bookstore.  I bought my own little African Angel figurine - its so beautiful.  A bookmark with this beautiful angel overlooking an African Village.  I hope to scan this picture and share - I'm going to hold onto these.  I know God put us on this path or led us here - who knows.  But I have to believe our future kids all have a guardian angel overlooking them.

Anyone else out there - and I know my dear friends I"m meeting out there - you feel the same way.  We must continue to lean on each other and hold each other up.  hang in there.  I"m having a good moment right now - I may have a bad one tomorrow.  But we'll all get our kids home - we'll get our referrals and we'll meet as well!  You know who you are - We WILL meet with our 4 kids having a blast one day.  That is another hope to cling to.

Happy Sunday evening all -
God Bless - and remember lets keep hope and faith (that's all I can do right now)
Love
Gail

Place in "line" - I broke down and asked

So last night I was reading peoples responses to the blog and finding others out there and started to freak out as to "where are we on the waiting list".  I was thinking like 25-40 somewhere.  So I emailed the ET team at AAI - and I have to say - they are so nice and don't ever make me feel bad for asking what I feel are "stupid" questions.  So this email really perked me up today - we are #20 but the people before us all want different things . Granted 18 want a child 0-2 years old.  We are open to a 3 year old.  and many want girls or two kids.  So we COULD - move faster if something fits our needs - 1 child - 0-3 / either gender - if that happens.  At least I don't have to worry - we won't be in the 12 referrals that are coming.  I figured that - but its good to know -we aren't ready.


And as Craig reminded me - its all in God's hands -he has our child picked out and they may not be ready yet -it happens in the right time.  I know I've read amazing stories on many other blogs - yeah I'm a crazy follower of many blogs - and most are strangers.  But its nice to read their lives and learn things.


So I'm continuing to keep the faith.  Its  not easy - I"m not very patient at waiting.  Its also a time that gets me thinking about my mom and man how much it would help if she were only here to talk to!  she'd keep me grounded and remind me of all of this.  she'd make life so much easier -but she's not.  Oh well - lucky for me I have an amazing husband and wonderful friends.  Thanks Shannon for helping the last few weeks - its been great - wish we lived closer - but we'll meet.


And everyone else - you know who you are - Sarah and Jen - you hear me every day - Jill too!  So thanks.  And I love meeting more of you out there - comments are always welcome.  Always look me up on Facebook or email at gmbackus@hotmail.co.


So read the email below - I took it as VERY encouraging - and also excited I"m meeting and may be talking to some of the people higher up on the list - and they will share their stories and help me as time gets closer.


Enjoy the weekend I'm sure I'll possibly post - I go through spells.
God Bless
Gail


Good Morning Gail~

You are #20 on the list. Of the 19 families "ahead" of you there are several in that age range, however, 9 are specifically waiting for a female, and 1 is waiting for an older child. The other 9 are waiting for a variation such as 2 children, male and female, 0-2 years or 1 child, male or female, 0-2 years. Feel free to ask information like this any time.

Have a good weekend,

~Sally

thanks for the support

to all those great people that posted to my post last night - I really appreciate it.  I would love to hear more from you - please feel free to email me at gmbackus@hotmail.com.

I'm glad to know I"m not the only one that has issues with the negative comments - but still happy to hear others are following their hearts as well - be it ET, Ghana or Kazakhstan (I"m sure I spelt that wrong) - or any other country, state or even city!  God brings us to this place and he'll bring us all home with additions to our families.

I feel blessed to get to know you all
Gail

Yahoo group - some frustrations

So I"ll post it here - easier then some of the yahoo groups -but I guess that's why I tend to not read them as much.  I know a lot of people are reading this blog - and that's really cool - thanks. But I just saw an email chain how all these people are no longer adopting from ET due to ethical reasons. And that's fine - but I feel like if we don't switch we're being judged as "bad" - well I don't care.  God brought my heart here - and I just am not ready to change.  I honestly believe that the ET and US governments are doing all they can to do things ethically.  Yes - we will always have bad seeds out there with adoptions all over - heck even in the US>

Just read some news stories - here in Michigan a local mom killed her self - but with the intent of taking all 4of her adopted kids with her this weekend.  Drugging them up and trying to put them all in a van, running in a closed garage - she died of carbon monoxide poisoning - God bless the kids survived.  And that father in FL that murdered his adopted daughter and tried to kill her twin brother. Seriously - our system is not so ethical - its messed up in different ways - all in the words of "keeping families together" - or not really looking at it.  but I know the people in the systems are trying - the are short handed and funding is low.

So please - follow your hearts everyone - you can adopt domestically or from any country internationally - its up to you and your family - but there are issues everywhere. But honestly the kids are innocent bystanders - they are the ones that no matter what should have a loving home and family to take care of them.  No matter where they are at.  So to my friends adopting domestically - that's awesome - keep pressing forward and the same for all of us looking at ET or any other country - its what is best for us.

Now if only I felt strong enough to publish this in the yahoo groups - but I"m not. But maybe just one will see this blog out there.  So everyone can follow their hearts - we are sure doing that.
Gail

AAI ET Stats

Below is another email from AAI - a great one with the stats for this year.  I think we are the 1 family with the February dossier - cool!  So that means at a minimum we are #6 - but I KNOW There were other families last year as well - so I'm guessing we are in the double digits for waiting. 


But its worth the wait. 


Gail




Dear Families -

It was requested that we post stats once a month in order to keep you informed about the activity that is taking place in each phase of the adoption process in the Ethiopia Program. This is simple to do and we will begin posting this from here on out.

February, 2011
# of dossiers sent to Ethiopia - 1
# of referrals - 0 
# of adoptions finalized - 5 (3 families)
# of children brought home - 4 (3 families)

Here is January's too:

January, 2011
# of dossiers sent to Ethiopia - 5
# of referrals - 1
# of adoptions finalized - 3 (2 families)
# of children brought home - 4 (3 families)

Let's hope for some great numbers, especially in the referral part, in March!

~Sally, Laura, & Mary

MOWA Changes - making things slower - but probably for the best

Another post from our Agency - 




Dear Families~
Many of you may have heard about MOWA's recent announcement that they will only be completing 5 letters of consent per day. (as compared to up to 40 per day right now) There have been many pieces of information posted and shared online such as:
-The reason for this is that MOWA is short staffed. What they are attempting to do is get approval for hiring more staff.
-This will go into effect on March 7.
-This has already gone into effect.
-MOWA has not said when this will go into effect
-The adoption agencies are scheduling a meeting with MOWA to discuss this. 

....the list could go on and on....The only thing that we are able to confirm at this point is that MOWA did indeed say that they will only be writing 5 letters of consent each day and that there are plans for adoption agencies and MOWA to hold a meeting to discuss this. Please stay tuned for updates as we get them.

Thank you,

Sally, Mary, & Laura

PRAYERS needed for Gabriel

Prayers for Gabriel



Ok - I know LOTS Of you are around the world - please share this with a LOT of people - we need as many prayers as we can get.




 Anyhow - below is the last post from Gabriel's mom - they are really in need of much needed prayers for strength and continued faith.  With ALL of this and still having a new-born at home - I know they are all exhausted.  Please continue to keep them in your prayers, and the doctors so that they can do what they need to do - its only a few short weeks away for his brain surgery.


I'm also attaching another picture of Gabe - you may have already seen it - but this is him, his perfect spirit - he is such a sweet little boy and that beautiful hair that will be shaved off.  


thanks for the support and please forward this to any prayer groups, chains, friends - etc.  The family needs them all.  As like Rebekah - I just can't go to the thought about "what if this doesn't work" - I can't imagine this little boy dying just yet.  I know God's put him here on this earth to make sure we all have faith - but its something that's hard to think about.


Thanks
Gail


So, our meeting at Children’s Hospital of Detroit did not go over very well. I am certain the surgeon is capable but it was definitely not a match for us… I didn’t like one of his procedures during surgery (many, many ways to do it) and we were not impressed with his communication. I know he’s very well known in the brain tumor world but with Chiari… not so sure. There are only a handful of expert world known surgeons that specialize in Chiari Malformation. The condition is rare and very misunderstood in many aspects. I have had to take a crash course in neurology and specifically decompression brain surgery. To the contrary, the U of M surgeon was highly impressive. After two consults with each… we chose Dr. Maher at U of M.

Gabriel’s brain surgery is scheduled for March 21st starting at 7:30 a.m. at Mott’s Children’s Hospital in Ann Arbor. We are currently working out the details.

I think every day is challenging for us… the anticipation of it all, fear of the unknown, constant second guessing if we’re doing the right thing and if we’ve picked the right doctor, envisioning the day, shaving his head, the pain he will endure, and the days to follow and so on… I think one of the hardest parts of it all is that this surgery may not work which could potentially require several more and possibly a spinal surgery. The doctor’s do not know if this surgery will shrink the syrinx in his spine. Sometimes it does… and sometimes it doesn’t. Even with the best possible scenario there is a very good chance this surgery will have to be repeated when he gets older and what is more overwhelming, is the fact that in a few more months we will be doing the same exact thing…Removing his spleen without knowing if it will help his blood condition and monthly transfusions. They call it a “blind splenectomy” we have no other alternative to this procedure at this time. He cannot continue to go on like this. The iron will eventually damage his liver and/or heart. I received this e-mail from the expert in Boston just the other day as I begged him for an alternative to a “blind spleen removal”;

“There is, unfortunately, no way to know if splenectomy would help. But, it seems clear that something has to be done, and among the options it is one of the least harmful. I would feel much more comfortable about removing it if it were large. The fact that it isn't makes me worry that it isn't responsible for most of the red cell destruction.”

Dr. Lux, Children’s Hospital of Boston

It may seem like I’m being a little negative and hopeless and maybe I am but this is reality. It is truly unbelievable when I think of what has transpired in the last 2 ½ years. When I think of his first year of life and there was nothing wrong with him to our knowledge… to this. He looked at his baby pictures today and I couldn’t help but think about that first year and how we didn’t know what was ahead… I would do it over and over for him though. There is something special about Gabriel… he’s no ordinary kid.

So, as we’re feeling overwhelmed with brain surgery, splenectomy, iron overload, toxic daily med’s and most important loosing Gabriel’s beautiful spirit… all we can do is take it one day at a time, make his life as normal as possible and beg God for wisdom, strength and to ultimately spare his life. I have an empty feeling in my stomach daily and I keep reminding myself that he’s okay… he’s here and nothing’s going to happen to him. But what if it does? I can’t go there and I just ask God to protect him. I remember being terrified at Spring Hill a couple years ago to jump off the plank and fly in the air on the zip cord. I just ran and did it without even thinking about it. The girls that were with me couldn’t believe I didn’t hesitate since I was afraid. That’s kinda how I’m feeling now… Running full force and jumping off the edge without even thinking. I don’t really have any other choice and when people ask me how I do it… that’s what I tell them. Maybe one day I’ll have a beautiful testimony, for now, I’m just surviving.

Another blood transfusion is around the corner. Thanks Alex for donating for Gabriel, one less risk for him! Thanks for reading, caring, praying and loving Gabe and our family. I appreciate your comments in his guestbook and everything else you do!
The Adler’s

Update from AAI regarding Referrals

Below is part of an email we received from the agency today - so referrals are coming!  I just don't know where we are on the waiting list.  I"m still too nervous to find out - I just am happy we are there.  I know it sounds weird - but I'm still just happy to get to this point.  I don't want to get disappointed if there are tons of families in the line.  So we'll just see.

Enjoy -
Gail

EMail from AAI
As for an update on the Ethiopia program, there have not been too
many changes/updates since last month to fill you in on, but once
again we wanted to keep in contact with you!

We have received word of about a dozen possible infant referrals
coming our way. The paper work is just taking a long time to receive
and we do not have the official documents to start referring
families, but hopefully these will quickly come into our hands.

There is a light at the end of this tunnel and we are excited to see
what this new month has in store for you and AAI.

Ethiopian Heritage Camp

Here's a little note from AAI - I know we won't have our child hoe yet - but someday this would be really awesome for us to go!  Really keep the Ethiopian heritage going!  That will be key for our child to maintain his/her identity as an Ethiopian American!  Man - a lot for us to learn still.


enjoy all - 




AAI Info


Please see below, regarding an annual Ethiopia Heritage Camp coming up this summer:

Ethiopian Heritage Camp 2011:
A gathering of families touched by Ethiopian adoption
How it Feels to Grow Up as an Adopted Child
Visit www.africancradle.org/camp2011 or
call 650. 461.9192 for more information

Girls in China - need a home - PLUS baby formula needed

Ok - if anyone is interested in two girls from China - they are on their waiting children's list- let me know.  Our agency AAI posted something today.

Also they are in desperate need of baby formula for families to take over.  Not sure how we'll get it to them - but they need powder formula, children's medicine, socks, clothes and shoes.  If you have any and want to donate I'm sure we can find a way to get it all over there.  Just let me know.

Thanks all -

And just a note - I looked at our Lilly-pie ticker - its been 6 months since we started this officially with AAI - wow - doesn't seem like that long.  Amazing - all to be on a waiting list.  but I know in the end - we'll look back and laugh how fast this went.

Ok - fighting my sinus something - so spelling and mind aren't working well tonight.
Thanks all that follow and read -
Gail

random thoughts

Just random thoughts - I should really find out where we are on the waiting list - but honestly I like enjoying the thought we are just there.  I'm afraid to know if there are 20-30 people on the list. so I will just wait.
We are finally there - that's all that matters right?

and then the snow - yes we live in Michigan - I know that - but seriously NO ONE plowed our road - yeah not surprising for Redford - it is a township - so they never do it - but a few weeks ago they did - first ever so fast.  so who knows - but I got stuck trying to PULL INTO the drive way - hilarious!  Oh well -

Just dealing with a possible sinus issue and a little boy with a cold and runny nose still - but he's feeling better-

so nothing more to report - just know I should ask where we are on the wait list - so that if things do happen - we can be prepared with immunizations, the bed rooms - etc.  Or it will be crazy - like packing our bag for the hospital the NIGHT before I went in to have Nate!  who knew they'd include 2 weeks early - ha.  and still coming home to get the bad and to email/call people before really going to the hospital -but this time we will need to fly half way around the world.

Next worry - all the unrest in Africa and the middle est - so hoping it doesn't affect ET or Addiss  Ababa - I pray the peaceful and friendly people don't like that unrest - so we'll see.

Ok - off to rest- and tuck my one little man in - who at the moment is running around with ONLY SOCKS on - just doesn't know I can see hm - ha!  Looks like he's trying to find pjs or something.

Prayer request from a friend

For those that don't know us - please check out the link to our friends son Gabriel - he's about 3.5 years old and has some rare and unknown blood disorder.  VERY BAD - he needs blood transfusions about every 3-4 weeks now to just live.  Anyhow - during tests last summer to try to figure out the blood stuff (so rare less than 100 people world wide have it- and still not sure what it is)- so they found a brain malformation and some other spinal issues that require that he have surgery - so the email copied below is an update on this.  Rebekah also just had her 4th baby right before Christmas - he was a much needed blessing in the family's life -little Samuel.  

So anyhow - I realized so many people around the world read this - please keep them in your prayers and thoughts.  They need it.

Thanks

Gail

POST ABOUT GABE:

Family & Friends,

I finally found a moment to write…   Last week Gabriel had an MRI and we had a consultation with the U of M surgeon.  Although there was not much change with the size of the Syrinx in his spine (large cyst growing in the spinal cord that could potentially cause damage to the cord) we were warned of what could happen if we do not proceed with surgery.  There is a chance that Gabriel could lose the sensation in any or all of his extremities, control of his legs or arms, loss of bladder and/or bowel and many more possible symptoms. Worse part about it is there is no warning and some of the nerve damage cannot be reversed.  Upon my research and stumbling across other children’s stories I have seen some in wheelchairs, in chronic pain and many other unthinkable scenarios.   I think we both decided after this scary information that it’s only fair that we go ahead with the surgery to hopefully avoid these issues.  There is not guarantee the spinal Syrinx will resolve or stop growing with the brain surgery… we can only hope.  If it does not, we are looking at repeat brain surgeries and possible spinal surgery.  Every person with this brain malformation presents differently. They assume it will help but that is not always the case.  We are also very concerned with the complications that can arise.  The most common is a spinal fluid leak that warrants an immediate surgery to correct it. Although it is not particularly common with a Decompression Chiari surgery, a more serious complication can be paralysis.

So, at this time Jason and I are trying to make the final decision of which surgeon to go with.  We have two very experienced and qualified surgeons.  As I’m sure you can imagine, making the choice of who will go into our son’s brain is a difficult one.  Please pray God will give us wisdom…

The surgery will be within a month.  We are getting our ducks in a row and preparing emotionally the best we can.  Trying to be comfortable with this and researching as much as possible.  I think one of the major concerns is Gabriel losing his beautiful spirit.  He has come so far… Being sick for so long and going through what he’s gone through and now this… This is completely unrelated to the battle he’s been fighting for 3 years. I just don’t know how we are going to explain this to him.  He has no idea it’s coming. 

If you’ve ever said you would pray for us please do it now.  If we ever needed it before… it’s now.

I wanted to mention how very much we appreciate the support and compassion we’ve received from so many people.  From taking Ashton to and from school every day to bringing us meals and groceries to sending us beautiful cards and gift cards for our family.  Some of you have helped by babysitting, cooking for us, gifts, visits, prayers and even a phone call. I think the goal is to try and take whatever burden you can from us so we can gain strength, heal and support each other.  So we can focus on what we’ve been handed and make the most of it.   You know who you are and you have no idea how much it changes our perspective on this extremely difficult situation.  The support has shown us God’s mercy and love.  Thank you for being a part of that.  You will be blessed!  Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Any day that our family or Gabriel crosses your mind please pray for peace, strength, hope and wisdom to make the best decisions.  Pray that nothing happens to him before the surgery takes place.  I have read a story of a child who had nerve damage before his scheduled surgery.

I will post as much as I can.  In between feedings, taking caring of four and preparing for the surgery.   As soon as I make the surgery date (probably this week) I will post the date. 

The Adler’s

New embassy

This is a positive sign - I like it.

Post from US Dept of State - 

1/31/11

In an important symbol of America’s commitment to an enduring friendship with Ethiopia, as well as our bilateral relationships with the Government of Ethiopia and the African Union, Deputy Secretary of State James B. Steinberg dedicated the new U.S. Embassy facility in Ethiopia today. Ethiopian Deputy Prime Minister and Foreign Minister Hailemariam Desalegn and African Union Deputy Chairman Erastus Mwencha attended the ribbon cutting ceremony, as well as Deputy Director of the Bureau of Overseas Buildings Operations, Lydia Muniz; U.S. Ambassador to Ethiopia, Donald E. Booth; and U.S. Ambassador to the African Union, Michael E. Battle.

The dedication of the New Embassy Compound (NEC) in Addis Ababa marks the 77th diplomatic facility to be completed by the Bureau of Overseas Buildings Operations (OBO) since the 1999 enactment of the Secure Embassy Construction and Counterterrorism Act. In the last twelve years, OBO has moved more than 22,000 people into safer facilities. OBO has built 30 new facilities in Africa and has an additional seven projects in design or construction on the continent.

The New Embassy Compound, located just below Entoto Mountain and overlooking Addis Ababa, was designed to maintain much of the plant and wildlife that has existed on the site for many years. The building design integrates green building techniques and was one of the first Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design (LEED®) registered facilities in Ethiopia.

The multi-building complex provides more than approximately 1,000 U.S. embassy direct hire and locally employed staff, including the U.S. Mission to the African Union, with more than 19,000 square meters of working space.

B.L. Harbert International of Birmingham, Alabama, under a design/build contract, constructed the NEC; the architectural firm of Page Southerland Page of Arlington, Virginia designed the facility. The total approximate cost of the project, which generated jobs in both the United States and Ethiopia, is $157 million. The new facility was completed in August 2010, with, at times, more than 1,200 workers involved in the construction.

For further information, please contact Christine Foushee at FousheeCT@state.gov

or (703) 875-5751.

PRN: 2011/130

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6 year old girl - available to adopt

Oh - if only we could take a child that old - but I know in my heart its not right.  Our agency sent out a note that they have a 6 year old girl available, but no one on the waiting lists are looking for that range.  Well at least they don't know.  I would LOVE a girl, but I just know that's so close to Nate's age and probably would be way harder for attachment issues and stuff.  Plus typically if they say she's 6 - she's probably more like 7 or 8  and they can't tell to she's home to the US.

I so hope someone can adopt her -

But some good news - as referrals have been really slow they know some younger kids are currently being evaluated by the Ethiopian govt and will soon be passed to our agency AAI to refer out to other families.  So that is good news.  And its good the due diligence is being done now - its a good start.

So I know we just got on the list recently - but man - just crazy.

Anyhow - for anyone out there in SE MI - we have a yahoo group started and a get together on the 26th - looking forward to meeting new people.  I'm also so thankful for these blogs as I've met some really great friends here -
Shannon - man I just pray our families get referrals close to each other and get to meet in ET.  That's my wish - it would be amazing!

Alright - this is mostly a blabbing email - but its still exciting.

God Bless everyone.
Gail

Happy Valentines Day

My new Hippo
  Nate's big KISS